Kathy Griffin is prepared to make enemies in her new roles as the host of Fashion Police. And she picked Kiwi singer Lorde as one of her first targets.
The comedian made her Fashion Police debut last night, rating the red carpet looks from the Golden Globe Awards.
And she wasn't impressed by 18-year-old Lorde's wardrobe choice.
The teen singer wore a black Narciso Rodriguez suit and crop top, with Neil Lane diamonds.
"I would have put her in the men's section," said Griffin.
"I love going for Lorde because she is so humorless and she is so ridiculous."
She also took aim at Amal Clooney, launching a lengthy spiel against the human rights lawyer.
"Yeah, she's annoying," Griffin announced as soon as a picture of Amal in her Dior gown came up on screen. "You heard me! Everybody run in fear."
She had this critique of Amal's accessories: "I thought it was weird she had those gloves that remind me of, like, a porn scene, where the guy goes home and there's the naughty dishwasher and she only has the gloves."
Burn. Even though the panel agreed (Kelly Osbourne said the gloves belonged on "a vet helping a calf be born") Griffin wasn't finished.
Amal Clooney's white gloves were not a popular choice with the Fashion Police panel. Photo / AP
"Like, she used those bovine insemination gloves to rake through her hair instead of a brush," Griffin complained as as the camera showed Amal on the carpet sweeping back her hair. "But I'm fascinated how we're like, not supposed to make fun of her because she married the great George Clooney. Look, everybody's on the table, George! Nobody's safe, nobody gets a pass."
Griffin, known for happily heaving insults at anyone, treated her inaugural show like a stand-up routine. It made for a slightly uncomfortable dynamic on Monday night's premiere, as the rest of the crew seemed to patiently wait for Griffin to finish her joke; the laugh track to roar; and then attempt some actual fashion criticism.
Here's how it works now: In Griffin's world, anyone who has an amazing dress is just boring. Anyone who has a terrible dress? Jackpot. That gives her more material. Especially if it's a celebrity that everyone loves and she can create controversy.
Other stars to come under fire from Griffin included Lupita Nyong'o, Lena Dunham and Claire Danes, who Griffin described as "a pill".
What did she love? Dresses dangerously close to a wardrobe malfunction, such as Kate Hudson's cut-out Atelier Versace's and Jennifer Lopez's plunging Zuhair Murad. Griffin dubbed them "One False Move" dresses and announced they're the best because, really, everyone watching just hopes something will go horribly wrong.
"Now, before I start making more enemies and burning more bridges, I just want to thank my good friend whom we all miss, Joan Rivers," Griffin said. "So Joan, I know you are watching from heaven, but don't get it twisted - I will not be afraid to bring the hammer down on anyone and everyone. I learned from the best."
For the record, here's who the panel dubbed best and worst dressed:
Griffin: Jennifer Lopez
Goreski and Osbourne: Emma Stone
Rancic: Kate Hudson
Griffin: Amal Clooney
Goreski and Osbourne: Lana Del Rey
Rancic: Keira Knightley
Check out Lorde's fashion file on the NZ Herald Life Facebook page and tell us do you like it or loath it?
- nzherald.co.nz and Washington Post