KEY POINTS:
The phone rang at 6:30 on Saturday morning. It was my editor in a filthy mood. How could I have gotten the sex of Jonah's baby wrong? he barked.
The NZ Herald had a front page story that day declaring Jonah and Nadine had a newborn daughter. They
had referred to an article in New Idea magazine. My editor assumed the woman's rag had engineered an exclusive deal with the rugby legend. He assumed the gossip magazine and the Weekend Herald were right, and my story - that was running in my Herald on Sunday column declaring Jonah had a son - was wrong. My column had gone to print, but the ed's call was a courtesy vent telling me he was stopping the presses and changing my story.
It was a frustrating start to what was to meant to be a pleasant morning, waking up in my palatial SkyCity Grand suite and preparing for a lavish day on the water. I was an invited guest aboard SkyCity's launch to watch the Alinghi v Emirate Team NZ final of the Louis Vuitton Pacific Series along with Rodney Hide, Mark Sainsbury, Sir Ron Carter, Hon Judith Collins, Hamish McKay, TVNZ's Corin Dann and Alan Whetton.
I hate being wrong at the best of times, but I hate it even more when I know I'm right and I'm not believed. Jonah had a son. He told me so at the TopGear dinner on Thursday night (click here for photos from the event).
I'd had an intimate discussion with the sports star and our Prime Minister about Lomu Jr and his unusual name - Brailey. I joked it was a bit of a girlie name. Jonah didn't care about my teasing. He was proud as punch to be a father, and he told MC Martin Devlin as much, who later announced it onstage in front of the 400 guests at the dinner.
But in the early hours of Saturday morning, on the other end of the phone, a cautious editor was not so sure. 'Are you sure it's not a little girl?' he brayed. Yes I was sure. But to appease the ed I volunteered to ring the big man and talk to him - again.
Jonah wasn't answering. No surprise, it wasn't even 7am. He'd probably been awake all night with the newborn bubs crying and feeding.
So, I contacted John Key. He was the only other person in our conversation. Yes, I know what you're thinking. Aren't you embarrassed to ring the Prime Minister of New Zealand in the early hours of Saturday morning and ask him something so inane as to the gender of a celebrity's baby? The answer is yes. I felt like a complete plonker. But I'm in the celebrity tittle-tattle business, asking inane questions is my job.
JK was most obliging. No, I hadn't woken him, he assured me. He'd already finished one meeting that morning. Phew. Yes, he remembered the conversation with Jonah, and yes, he remembered Jonah saying he had a son called Brailey. No, he most definitely did not say he had a newborn daughter.
I called the editor back and my story ran as originally planned. The moral of the story is never assume anything. As a wise old bloke once told me: "It makes an ASS out of U and ME."
Also that day, a number of celebrity weddings were taking place. Joe Cotton married her man at Kelliher House on Auckland's Puketutu Island; Jacqui Brown got hitched in a low-key ceremony in Hastings; and former Miss Universe Lorraine Downes married her beau Martin Crowe at Mark Ching's $6 million palatial holiday home on the cliff overlooking Omaha beach. It was the place where the couple first met.
The former beauty queen and the former cricketing legend had an unusual wedding. It was a second-time-round nuptials, so I guess traditional conventions can be dropped. She married in a frock by wedding dress designer Jane Yeh that was less puffball pouf and more showgirl stopper.
"It was bit tacky, if you ask me," said one guest who wanted to stay anonymous. "It was a glitzy silver and white number. It looked like it was straight out of the Dancing with the Stars wardrobe."
No surprise then that her former dancing partner, Aaron Gilmore, was a guest at the wedding. So too, were Murray Deaker and Grant Fox. Read all the details in my Herald on Sunday column at the end of the week.
Speaking of former sports stars, it was a pleasant surprise to see Ian Smith at the TopGear dinner last Thursday. Or TopFare as I prefer to call it.
The ego landed in Auckland this week, and while I expected it would be a tour of I came, I saw, I patronised for the BBC's most opinionated man, turns out TopGear presenter Jeremy Clarkson quite likes our GodZone. He said as much when he hit the stage for a very brief 20-minute question and answer session with co-star Richard Hammond and Greg Murphy at the gala dinner following their inaugural Auckland show.
Muph filled in as a cheap, local replacement for co-star James May who was a no show on the tour.
But if Clarkson likes this place so much, why did he feel compelled to leave so early? He didn't even stay to eat. Not a nibble. He just high-tailed it out of there after the 20-minute question and answer session.
And even that was controlled. We were told specifically don't ask questions about: Clarkson's battle with a bee at Waiheke and his arm sling; Hammond's accident last year; or the "one-eyed Scottish idiot" comment Clarkson made about his Prime Minister Gordon Brown last week.
Despite these recessionary times, guests to the gala dinner splurged $1000 a ticket, which included the TopGear Live show followed by the four-course meal at the ASB Showgrounds. One thousand dollars a ticket! It would have been nice if Clarkson and co had bothered to enjoy it with their die-hard fans - but no luck.
Even the VIPs got the snub. Organisers shrugged dishearteningly and told me the BBC stars would only agree to one official photo being taken backstage. Are they too precious? "I wouldn't say that," an organiser said, "Clarkson just doesn't like his time being invaded." Crikey! He's paid the big bucks, just deal with it.
Check out these photos from the evening.
Rachel Glucina
Pictured above: 'Top Gear Live' at the ASB Showgrounds. Jonah Lomu, Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond far left. Photo / Norrie Montgomery