Auckland actors Nisha Madhan and Stephen Bain in their theatre show What Have You Done to Me?.
I got made redundant last week. So did all the theatre reviewers in the city. When we made our usual arrogant demands for free tickets, we were told kindly but firmly that our services would not be required for two Basement shows.
Instead, the creators of What Have You Done
To Me? and Lies invited 35 members of other professions to make their own show assessments, on their own terms. A lawyer advises that What? was unlikely to obtain resource consent; a commercial cleaner quotes $200 to clean up the debris left by Lies. (Do we learn that lies are rubbish or that they always leave a mess?) There's a horse-racing commentary, an insightful analysis by a relationship therapist, a tarot reading, cocktail recipes and musical responses (all at www.nishamadhan.com).
Nisha Madhan, who created the shows with Stephen Bain, says the idea crystallised when she realised they were thinking of inviting theatre reviewers not because our scribblings would provide useful feedback, but in the hope that the reviews would be good enough to drum up publicity. (Informing others, by the way, is the only reason a public reviewer should be invited to your shows; our imagined readers are your potential punters, not practitioners. If you want constructive comment from someone you respect, ask them in private.) Madhan decided she would prefer unusual feedback - and she's got it: "I feel like I'm gathering information on the show that I didn't know."
The culture-industry assessments are hard-nosed: "Would the show sell better if it were all male?" ponders a marketing adviser.
"Having very short hair always boxes women as alternate, hipster, creative, lesbian etc," judges the talent scout. The publicist repeats "NISHA WAS ON SHORTLAND STREET" six times to underline that celebrity angles are "what the media really want".
