Armed with nothing but screenshots, this Playboy Bunny could destroy the world, writes James Weir.
One MAFS wife gets taken down by the most devastating weapon on reality TV: iPhone screenshots. James Weir recaps.
A Married At First Sight wife apparently missed the lesson on How To Be A Reality TV Villain because she commits the cardinal sin last night: leaving a text trail of mean messages that can be read aloud at a drunken dinner party.
That wife is Bec, who arrives at the warehouse for the weekly rave, ready to prosecute everyone for their relationship crimes. She’s doling out unsolicited advice, asking invasive questions, and generally behaving like she has been elected Mayor of Trash Tower.
What she doesn’t realise? Her frenemy Gia has receipts. Big long ones – the kind you get at Chemist Warehouse.
Bec moves around the room with the entitled energy of a know-it-all aunt at Christmas lunch who has had too much chardonnay and thinks everyone wants her opinion on everything from their haircuts to their newborn’s name. She came onto this show thinking she has got all the quips and sound bites to turn herself into a fan favourite that gets some kind of spinoff series on 9Now.
Turning to new groom Joel, she wastes no time in firing off insults – peppering her rude assumptions with a smattering of passive aggressive pet names: honey, doll, sweetheart, baaaaabe.
“She’s vicious,” Joel sighs.
Fuelling Bec tonight is the resentment she feels towards frenemy Gia, who claims Bec’s husband Danny is attracted to her.
“[Gia] was a Playboy Bunny, she knows how to manipulate,” Bec seethes.
Yeah. Those Playboy Bunnies are nothin’ but wascally wabbits.
“Gia is venomous. She also is taking it upon herself to attack everyone else,” she declares.
Bec is unravelling so quickly that she doesn’t seem to realise she’s now doing all the things she’s shaming Gia for.
Meanwhile, the experts are in the basement, watching it all play out on CCTV, cringing as the monster they created terrorises the masses.
And Gia? She’s pre-empting an attack. That’s why her weaponry is ready.
“Bec is telling us non-stop stories about Alissa,” she informs us. “She has said all these things about Alissa which has made me talk shit about Alissa and not like Alissa based on what Bec has told me. I’ve got all the receipts of what she said about Alissa the whole time. If the need is there, I’ll bring out the screenshots.”
Bec’s words get more slurred as the evening chugs on.
“I got somethin’ to sayyyy! I got somethin’ to sayyyy!” she howls at the ceiling.
“Gia, I know you thought we were going to be friends but I’m actually pretty unhappy.”
She wants to expose Gia’s malicious slander from last week about Danny being secretly attracted to her. But in doing so, she clumsily loses aim of her target. Innocent bystanders Grayson and Jules cop strays.
“I got told by Gia that Jules said she wished she was matched with a woman!” she blabs across the table.
Um … isn’t this the exact behaviour you’re calling out Gia for?
Anyway, Bec has already made her fatal error: taking aim at her frenemy. Big mistake. Huge. Gia’s iPhone is fully charged and incriminating screenshots have been archived in their own folder.
The white light from the screen illuminates her maniacal grin.
“Let’s pull up the screenshots, shall we?” Gia smirks. “You’re a mean girl and all you do is go around and talk shit about every bitch here. I’m going to show every receipt from this bitch.”
Bec starts to crash out.
“Listen to me! LISTEN TO MOIIIII!” she screams.
Gia begins reading aloud time-stamped text messages like she’s presenting evidence in court.
Alissa went home for the weekend. Turmoil in the relationship!
Alissa’s a **** – still in love with her ex!
Bec’s agitated by the loss of control and she begins stress-licking her lips. Suddenly, she just starts yowling incoherent nonsense.
Her husband Danny begins gradually sliding away from her, desperately trying to escape the shadow of second-hand embarrassment. By the time Bec realises, he’s on the other side of the table.
“DANIEL, COME SIT NEXT TO ME! DANIEL! YOU NEED TO COME AND SIT NEXT TO ME,” she demands.
Shoulda known better than to go up against that wascally Playboy Bunny.
Married at First Sight screens Sundays to Wednesdays on Three and Three Now