Graphic details have come out about the latest MAFS affair — with one wife revealing what else happened on the night in question. James Weir recaps.
Graphic details have come out about the latest MAFS affair — with one wife revealing what else happened on the night in question. James Weir recaps.
Opinion by James Weir
OPINION:
A distraught Married At First Sight wife reveals her husband had sex with her the same night he kissed another woman and it’s almost more shocking than the blatant lie being peddled by a different wife about her love of country music.
At tonight’s boozy dinner party,the MAFS freaks are going on a witch-hunt. They’re determined to bring down the cheating wife. But what about the cheating husband? If we’re going on a witch-hunt, surely we should also be embarking on a … warlock-hunt?
Four weeks into this experiment and it seems Melinda has appointed herself the official commentator. We cross to her live on the sidelines for an update.
“Tonight’s dinner party is gonna be explosive. You’ve got Claire and Adam, who’ve hooked up. And you’ve got Janelle and Jesse as the victims,” she says breathlessly as the players warm up and excited punters file into the arena.
Janelle? You ready to stop being bitter about your husband’s affair?
“Going into the dinner party, I’m going in fully-loaded,” she states. “I’m gonna make sure they all understand what Adam is like. And I’m gonna make sure that everyone holds Adam accountable. Tonight, I’m going in with the biggest, baddest b**ch mood ever.”
Ooh, hectic! Hope Adam downed a nip of nightstand Fireball before he left the house.
Just a heads-up, Janelle — Adam’s wearing a satin blouse tonight. Start workshopping an insult about it.
At the cocktail party, all the girls gather and talk about how they’re going to burn Claire at the stake. Then that new wife Tayla bounces in wearing an Elle Woods ensemble. She plonks down in between the gals and promptly starts telling them not to be too hard on Claire, even though she’s never met these women and has no idea what the scandal is.
Who are you?
Suddenly, the big metal door rolls open. Claire enters. Everyone falls silent, as if Jesse has just told them to shush. She walks over to the ladies. They all sip their wine and pretend their mouths are too full to talk.
Classic move. Use it in the workplace or at family events.
The public snubbing is worse than the potent taste of Fireball that was in Adam’s mouth when Claire kissed him. She runs over to the bar and starts to cry.
Tayla follows and offers support.
“What do you wanna drink? That always helps,” she says, picking up random bottles of wine.
She keeps spouting words of wisdom at this stranger whose troubles she knows nothing about.
“Hold ya head high, don’t take any sh**,” she rubs Claire on the back.
Everyone’s herded to the dinner table where the drama about the affair will explode in five, four, three, two …
Janelle clinks her wine glass with a knife and offers a toast.
“I just want to first welcome the new couples,” she smiles sweetly before seamlessly seguing into more interesting topics. “Let’s start off by hearing from Adam and Claire.”
Like all bros who go around calling themselves entrepreneurs, Adam reckons he’s a smooth talker.
“There’s no one at this table that has taken it harder than myself,” Adam says of the affair.
Um. What about your wife? Or Claire’s husband? Everyone at the table shoots him puzzled looks.
He powers on, providing a very reasonable explanation for his cheating.
“There’s a lot of stuff that happened with me and Janelle at the start of our relationship that none of youse know about,” he says. “Things had happened on our honeymoon. Things had been said. It wasn’t a real relationship.”
It basically becomes a game where we take a shot of Adam’s nightstand Fireball every time he blames Janelle for his cheating.
“I’m not gonna put my hand up and say, ‘I was a friggin’ cheat’ when I wasn’t a cheat!” he argues. “Yes, I kissed Claire, but it wasn’t cheating.”
Meanwhile, Harrison is really committing to his new role as pearl-clutching conservative. He keeps tut-tutting Adam for being a gaslighter and the most ridiculous thing is he’s convinced that he has successfully gaslighted us into forgetting he himself is a gaslighter.
It’s around now Janelle starts to cry. Adam covers his face and giggles at his heartbroken wife.
Seriously, Janelle, say something about the blouse.
Janelle, where’s the big bad b**ch mood you were channelling earlier? She takes a deep breath and sits up straight.
“I kissed him goodbye before he left — and he had sex with me that night,” she reveals to the table about the night Adam pashed Claire.
The experts groan as their Frankenstein monsters run amok in front of them.
You created this.
“DID YOU SLEEP WITH JANELLE THE NIGHT YOU KISSED CLAIRE?” Alyssa screams at Adam.
All this talk of cheating scandals has Tayla feeling like she’s missing out. She yearns for the warmth of the spotlight and frantically tries to rustle up her own stunt by flirting with Lyndall’s husband Cameron.
“Are you a country man? I’m interested now,” she purrs to the miner.
“What type of music do ya listen to?” he grunts.
“I love everything,” comes her vague response.
“Do you like Luke Combs?” he name-drops the Nashville country singer.
Tayla stumbles. " … Ya … ah … yes?” she flips her hair.
Cameron’s impressed. He excitedly asks if she loves country music.
“Yeah, Shania Twain!” she claps.
So, it’s settled. Tayla will be trading her husband Hugo for Lyndall’s husband Cameron.
“He was a genuine country boy, very easy to talk to, and I think we’ll both get along really, really well,” she coos to us later, as a defeated Hugo stands by her side.
Sorry Tayla, but Cameron just wouldn’t fit in at the Young Liberals meetings.
While all this is going on, Claire pulls Jesse aside and gives him a handwritten letter that he doesn’t read and then they sneak out of the dinner party together. Maybe they really do love each other. Just like Tayla loves country music superstar Luke Combs.
MAFS Australia is available to stream first on ThreeNow or on Three Sunday 7pm and Mon to Weds 7.30pm.
