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Home / Entertainment

James Weir recaps Married At First Sight 2019 episode 29

By James Weir
news.com.au·
24 Mar, 2019 07:35 AM6 mins to read

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The controversial contestant stirred the pot once again. Video / Three

After trapping her husband and holding him captive like The Voice hostages, Married At First Sight's cheating wife has broken down and claimed she is the real victim.

Groans fill Sunday night's commitment ceremony when Jessika ignores Mick's pleas and locks him in for one more week of the experiment by choosing to stay, just so she can continue her affair.

I don't know who to feel sorry for more: Mick or The Voice hostages.

Yes, The Voice hostages were locked in a room with Delta Goodrem who made them watch a bunch of losers with no teeth and eyepatches sing Daryl Braithwaite covers. But Mick's ordeal will now be extended to seven weeks and he honestly can't bear hearing Jessika mispronounce another word or suffer through Heidi telling her government housing story again.

At the commitment ceremony, Jessika and Dan continue to lie to everyone about their secret affair and they should really be #EggBoyed.

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Jessika is overwhelmed and shaken following Wednesday night's dinner party. It was an evening of ups and downs for her. She engaged in a second dirty carpark pash with Dan and told us she's in love with him. And then she was ferociously dragged by Cyrell, who will happily destroy her own marriage by interfering in someone else's drama which is something we can relate to.

"It was highly awkward and I feel really itchy," Jessika sulks to us in the aftermath. We quickly leave her apartment and suggest she undergo a pathology test.

As usual, Heidi is unaware that more interesting things are happening around her and, at the commitment ceremony, proceeds to bang on with a yarn that rivals her government housing story.

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"He uses all the towels. Like, we're talking ALL THE TOWELS. And he puts them on the ground so I have no towels when I have a shower," she whines.

The experts have zero sympathy and scold her for not happily surrendering all her towels to her man and inform her that, according to science, true love means air drying your body even in winter.

'Um just go to Adairs.'
'Um just go to Adairs.'

It's around this time we'd usually make special mention of Michael's fabulous silk shirt, but his choice tonight leaves us bitterly disappointed.

All men will eventually let you down.
All men will eventually let you down.

Next up are Cyrell and Nic.

Cyrell is in peak reality contestant mode and basically spends her time with the experts yelling that she's not here to make friends.

"People might not like it but it's take it or leave it because I'm happy like that," she says while flipping her hair.

John Aiken smacks her down like the fed up mother of a teenage girl.

"That's why you're single," he spits and, honestly, I feel like saying this to at least seven people a day including myself.

Both Cyrell and Nic choose to leave and, with Cyrell out of the picture, Jessika thinks she's now free to cheat without interference. She's sorely mistaken.

We're coming for you, hon.
We're coming for you, hon.

"I didn't find love on this experiment but, I tell you one thing, I've never loved myself more than I do right now," Cyrell says proudly with lots of head jolting and the experts actually cringe at her.

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'Please just leave.'
'Please just leave.'

Oh, also, Susie and that adult toddler Billy finally leave and that means we've gotten rid of four people tonight so a finale for this nightmare is imminent.

She needs to be #EggBoyed too.
She needs to be #EggBoyed too.

Producers know we're only here to see the Jessika and Dan affair play out so of course they keep it all until the very end of the episode. The experts know about the affair.

They've seen it on CCTV at the dinner parties but they refuse to acknowledge it or hold Jessika and Dan to account.

Mick is done. He has been trying to escape for two weeks but Jessika refuses to set him free because her scheme is to stay here and cheat with Dan.

But after last night's big fight with Cyrell, she needs to do some damage control and get people on her side by breaking down.

"I'm not doing really well with things I just feel like last night was really nasty … how many times do I have to defend myself?" she sobs.

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Jessika isn't as slick as what she thinks she is and everyone rolls their eyes.

"Everyone's sick of the fakeness that's coming across here. Everyone's starting to see through it," Mick drawls.

Mick says he feels exactly like those poor audience members on The Voice but Jessika thinks she's the one who deserves sympathy.

Even though Cyrell has decided to officially leave the experiment, she's still hanging around the warehouse and can't help but intervene one more time to drag Jessika.

"I just need youse to know!" Cyrell yells before Martha cuts her off.

"'Youse' isn't a word!" Martha screams in her hybrid Greek-Kardashian accent.

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Stay on topic, Martha.
Stay on topic, Martha.

In some weird kind of deja vu, this episode basically ends the exact same way it did last week with everyone turning on Jessika and then that annoyingly-content redhead speaks up.

"There's a lot of things Jess says that don't add up," Jules tells the experts.

"It's all the lies," Mick says about his wife.

"What do I owe any of you? I don't have to answer to any of you!" Jessika splurts.

'What, do I need to draw a diaphragm?'
'What, do I need to draw a diaphragm?'

Now would be the perfect time for the experts to jump in and tell Jessika they know about the affair and perhaps offer some, you know, light counselling and guidance for all involved. But they just sit back and ask for Mick and Jessika's decisions.

"This decision was really hard," Jessika says and it really shouldn't be hard because her marriage is dead and it's clear there's only one choice and that's to leave.

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"After last night's dinner party, there's so many things that need to still be spoken about here," she continues and, no, there's literally nothing more to be said.

"Even if you've checked out there should still be a level of respect for what we did share," she adds, coincidentally not choosing to show the same respect by, say, not cheating.

It's clear where her decision is about to land.

Mick is in physical pain.

"No, ya not are ya?" he groans.

"So I said 'stay'," Jessika splatters as she holds up her upside down card.
Mick slumps to the floor and the other contestants gasp in shock. Still, Jessika insists she is the true victim in this situation.

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The experts don't question her decision. They dragged Heidi over the coals for wanting a single towel but Jessika traps her husband an extra week so she can continue an affair they know about and they refuse to say anything?

Obviously they need to be #EggBoyed.

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