KEY POINTS:
I had a chuckle at a Herald letter writer's disgust with some people scoffing fish and chips next to her at the Andrea Bocelli concert at Vector last week. It reminded me of my own fish and chips moment at the arena, though it was during last year's
Cure concert and it involved burger and chips.
There I was dancing around during the three-hour show and all of a sudden things started getting sludgy and I found myself slipping and sliding on someone's discarded dinner. So I sympathise with our letter writer because really, what happened to eating before you go out, having a bite at the pub beforehand, or the simple "eating's cheating" rule?
However, a bit of deep-fried spud, coleslaw, and ground beef wasn't going to stop me enjoying the show. The worst part was at the end of the night when it came to scraping the meaty remnants out of the tread of my boots.
Besides, I've had worse experiences at gigs, like the bright red guy coming towards me out of the mosh pit at the Big Day Out a few years back. He lost his lunch on to the ground beside me, an experience made a little more disturbing by the fact I was wearing sandals. As far as I'm concerned you can enjoy a concert any way you like and imagine what the letter writer would make of a rock crowd who do everything from smoke pot and pash, to leap up on your back for a better view during the course of a show.
Although, there is something to be said for concert etiquette and food is only a small part of it. There are bigger issues at concerts, like cellphone usage; tall people vs short people; and possibly the one which incites the most blood-boiling, when is it okay to stand up if you're in a seated area?
First, cellphones are simple. Don't try and talk, just text but not too much thanks. Second, I don't have a problem with tall people at concerts. They can't help being tall, just as I can't help being short.
But when you're tall it's all in the way you go about respecting other members of the crowd. Saying "Excuse me", helps. Like at the Little Bushman concert with the APO recently. Myself and a couple of mates had a prime spot, then, quarter of the way into the show, some cool, hip, skinny jean wearing youngsters (and we all know you have to be tall to be wear skinny jeans) shouldered their way in front of us to stand with their friends. That's cool, but not an "excuse me" was uttered.
I tell ya, it was enough for me not to tap them on the shoulder and quote the Little Bushman lyric, "I have a corrupt demeanour, don't give a f*** about the rest of the world", which would have summed these posturing nonces up quite nicely.
And lastly, what is the etiquette for standing up when you've been assigned a seat? Whenever the bloody hell you want is what I reckon. Then again, I hardly ever go to sit down gigs and at times my concert behaviour verges on obnoxious with dancing, jumping, whooping, and shouts of song requests, so I'm possibly not a good gauge.
But come on, if someone in front of you wants to get out of their seat and dance, then be daring and do the same: get your groove on with your fellow concert-goers. Although, by all means, tell them to eat their fish and chips outside.