KEY POINTS:
Need juice? Come to the TimeOut office and join the queue. And no, I don't mean that in a trite-women's-mag-celebrity-gossip sense. We actually have fresh juice - thanks to three shiny red citrus presses sent to us this week, courtesy of Desperate Housewives.
As we announced last week, the 2009 new television season is upon us. Which means here at TimeOut, our desks are overflowing with preview DVDs - and gimmicky gifts to help grab our attention.
Some are more apt than others. Lost (TV2) sent us some impressive-looking (though rather useless) binoculars. Much like the show itself, their lack of focus and faulty compass left us flummoxed, as we struggled to get our bearings.
Desperate Housewives' (TV2) citrus press promised the show would be juicier than ever - and, as the new season jumps forward five years, it has certainly regained my attention. Especially the addition of Gaby's chubby 4-year-old daughter Juanita - who is shaping up to be the craftiest female on Wisteria Lane.
Grey's Anatomy (TV2), meanwhile, is officially cut from my viewing schedule after producers failed to make good on their promise of toning down Meredith's incessant neuroses. Instead, the first episode saw the whiny doctor whining on about happy endings. And how she doesn't deserve a happy ending. Or she does deserve one but is scared of it. Or whatevs. Just shut up, already!
Fortunately, New Zealand's own Go Girls (TV2) goes some way to redeeming woman-kind, with a light approach to drama that offers easy laughs - often at the North Shore's expense. Similar in tone to Australia's The Secret Life of Us, we're picking Go Girls as telly's next big thing. It's good. And not just in a "good for New Zealand" way. It stacks up against the international contenders.
Then again, with atrocities like Knight Rider (C4) cluttering up the schedule, that's not too hard.
I only made it through three minutes of the new series - not long enough to see The Hoff's cameo - but I can't imagine the remaining 57 minutes were any better ...
While Knight Rider should have been left to rust in the scrapyard of 80s television, some shows do seem to get better with age - in particular Project Runway (TV3). It took a few seasons for Heidi and co to settle into the fashion face-off series but now it's a tidy little outfit. Plus, it helps that the contestants are all barking mad and armed with scissors.
But perhaps the maddest of all television to emerge this season is Anna Paquin's new series True Blood (Prime).
Having seen the first episode, it's all too clear why she won the Golden Globe for best actress. Anyone who can keep a straight face while delivering lines like "I have been waiting for this moment since they came out of the coffin two years ago," certainly deserves a prize.
Fans of Buffy or Twilight may see some appeal in the HBO drama but others will struggle with the far-fetched concept. Particularly as it's laden with violent, gratuitous sex scenes that are strictly R18. It's all a bit try-hard and really not funny enough, nor scary enough, to warrant a mass following.
It takes some pretty slick writing to pull off the graphic sex True Blood attempts, but it's a skill Californication (TV3) has mastered.
David Duchovny returns tonight as the scurrilous Hank Moody and the series doesn't miss a beat as Hank tries to reform - only to be crushed, yet again, by the wheel of fate.
Now if only someone would crush that damn Meredith Grey ...
