KEY POINTS:
Jeremy "Newsboy" Wells talks to Russell Baillie about the globetrotting new series of his Eating Media Lunch, American politics and - inevitably - less savoury matters.<
The satirical show Eating Media Lunch returns on TV2 tomorrow night for the first of a late-year burst of three one-hour specials. The occasionally controversial faux current affairs programme hosted by the fiercely deadpan Jeremy Wells has been racking up the miles in this its fifth year.
The first of the specials follows Wells to the Republican Party National Convention in Minnesota. Then next week it's a New Zealand post-election special (complete with psychics and astrologers) and EML's own take on the coronation of Tonga's King George Tupou V, before wrapping with a show dishing out its annual awards ...
So these specials. Does it feel special?
So special. Absolutely incredibly special. It always is special.
The Republican convention show, are you having to edit it in light of the election result?
The show itself isn't really about the American election, it's about the Republican National Convention that we went to a few months ago.
I read your Listener piece on it.
Poor you. I'm sorry about that.
You described it as "part religious ceremony and part Nazi rally". Have you been to many Nazi rallies?
Ah no, I haven't. But I have seen a few on television and I can see the orchestration - that's kind of what I was trying to get at. There are guys there who are essentially conductors with red hats who stand in the aisles and tell people when to cheer, when to quieten down and how much to cheer.
That's rather like having a studio audience, television does that all the time.
It's essentially what the convention is. It is really made for television and the reason that they are there is they need to hit certain slots. So they want to make sure their speaker is on during prime time and there are major time considerations going on the whole time.
How did you get accreditation, because what the show does and what the Republican Party does are, well, kind of different?
I think Americans are less precious than people give them credit for. It's a very conservative country yet they regard freedom of speech as a major thing. They are always talking about it and so they don't mind. We tried to get into the Democratic Party National Convention but there was so much media interest in that one they said, "Sorry, we can't let you in." But the Republicans were really, really accommodating and I guess maybe they needed more attention. They did ask for a copy of the show and we sent them one and they seemed fine.
So were you sharing a coffee pot with The Daily Show?
No, I think there were 5000 media people there so you didn't really get to meet anyone. I saw Sean Hannity (Fox News conservative commentator), he walked past with three or four security guards around him.
Why would he need that at the Republican convention?
You would wonder. Amazingly, he had more security than George Bush senior.
Isn't there a slight danger that post-election your coverage is going to feel dated?
People don't have to watch it if they don't want to. Obviously it's pretty hard to go over and film it and come back and put it on the next week. That's probably not particularly easy. It's not possible for us anyway. Essentially it's a documentation of an event. It was a little while ago ... but we weren't talking about the election per se, more about the convention itself.
And so how was the Tongan royal tour?
It was the opposite of the Republican National Convention in a lot of ways. Quite a contrast. There was a lot pork involved for a start - it was a pork-based ceremony, but it was amazing to see. I guess they don't come round very often and the pageantry was greater than the American one, which is quite remarkable.
You've done Republicans, the King of Tonga and you've got psychics on your election show. Aren't you picking soft targets?
Well what else is there? Give us some ideas, please. I don't think I would call the Republican Party a soft target, the monarchy in Tonga is pretty powerful, and psychics - well they use the powers of the paranormal and spirits that we all know control everything and are all-powerful. So if you dug down a little deeper, you would find those are pretty powerful units.
And you are just the man to confront them?
No, I wouldn't say that, but they're interesting things to go along to. The convention was very interesting and the Tongan coronation was very interesting as well, and psychics I am fascinated by.
This is EML's what, fourth, fifth series?
The eighth series.
Well done. Have you ever considered EML - what is it for?
What is it for? It's for entertainment purposes. It's not necessarily for anything. No, I haven't thought about that. I don't think it's for anything. It's totally disposable. It doesn't make any difference to the world. It's just a piece of entertainment that is on briefly and then disappears and goes into the TV archive forever, never to be watched again. But that is the nature of any media like that. It's fodder, essentially.
In an ideal world would you prefer to be on every week, looking at events of the week, more like a Daily Show format where you were more immediate?
Well I think it's interesting because the comparison has been made a few times between our show and The Daily Show and I think that they are a long way apart. For a start it's a much better show and it's operating with a much bigger budget with a much better host who is actually funny. And they have a team of about 130 people, which is about the size of our newsroom at TVNZ, so they can put out a daily product. So it's just not possible to put out a show a week, unfortunately, that would be of a decent standard. We have a team of eight people to work on our show.
But the other thing is there is not actually that much going on in this country. It's a very small country. Arguably it's the most insignificant country in the world per head of population to land area. It seriously is. If we were wiped off the map it wouldn't change the world at all.
There wouldn't be that much stuff you could probably do on a weekly show. It would be a bit lame. It would be quite hard if someone said, "We have $8 million a year to do this satirical show every week."
You could always do it by gluing bits of rubber to people and have them impersonate politicians.
Even that show they were probably doing 12 episodes at a time, once a year, so it's quite tricky.
Do you play a variation of yourself on TV - or is that the real you?
Well I do walk around wearing a three-piece grey suit all the times. I'm like John Campbell. But it's my only suit. Obviously they have made some cutbacks here at TVNZ and ever since Judy Bailey left, the wardrobe budget has dropped away massively. Nowadays you are allowed one suit. I believe [Mark] Sainsbury has two, but one of them you can turn inside out.
What else do you want to do in TV? Wouldn't you rather be doing sport?
Sport?
Well you play cricket, have a professed love of the game, you come from a sporting family. Are you the next Keith Quinn?
I think you can enjoy sport and not have to work in sport. I wouldn't mind working in sport but there has never been an opportunity there. But I do love sport.
So will the Broadcasting Standards Authority be able to have Christmas off this year?
I would say they should be safe this year. Well, you never know, do you? It always surprises me what shocks people and what doesn't and I guess that is part of the show, seeing where that line is. And it turns out in the past the line has been drawn at urinating on another person and that was deemed acceptable by the BSA. I guess we've come a long way in our broadcasting history.
So you've helped push TV into the future.
Accidentally got it there by mistake, through laziness. I don't know what [the BSA's] views are on bestiality but we will find out after this series screens
Does one have to have a view? There are some things you don't have to think about.
I guess there are some things. But bestiality is one of the core parts of what being a New Zealander is.
Good subject to end on.
Nice one.
LOWDOWN
Who: Jeremy Wells
What: Eating Media Lunch, new series
When & where: Starts tomorrow, TV2, 9.45pm
