We get to Auckland and he corners me in the motel room and starts convincing me that I definitely should "play naked". So I said to Gerald, "I'll do it but we have to be allowed smoke, lights - the works".
I was sitting there shitting myself, thinking "what the hell have I got myself into?" That's when I came up with the idea of painting myself so that I wouldn't look like a pasty bogan up onstage.
After procuring some tubes of highly toxic paint, Amanda Clarke ¬ who was videographer for the tour - went about painting my entire body including my weenie, which she painted bright blue.
So then I'm thinking, "How the fuck am I going to get into the venue without people seeing?" At that point, a trench coat was procured which I draped around myself.
I hastily made my way backstage. Lance from S.P.U.D. and Solid Gold Hell sneered at me and said, "What are you doing? Trying to pull some chicks?" to which I replied, "If I was I could think of better ways to do it".
And the rest is history.
POSTSCRIPT:
When we played the Big Day Out main stage, I did the naked thing again. The bass player from Future Stupid was with a bunch of his mates, and as soon as we walked on stage he said, "I bet that guitar doesn't move an inch". So I played the loudest E chord ever and lifted the guitar straight above my head. I mean, if you're going to do it, don't do half-measures, right?
- Volume
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