Go Away: Gleeson's satirical travel show has Sydney in its sights. Photo / Supplied
Go Away: Gleeson's satirical travel show has Sydney in its sights. Photo / Supplied
It's been named one of the best cities in the world, but Australian comedian Tom Gleeson has torn Sydney a new one in his latest edition of mock travel show, Go Away.
Gleeson, who has already roasted the towns of Kalgoorie, Melbourne and Cairns as part of his travel segmenton The Weekly on ABC, took aim at Sydney — highlighting the city's "d*ckhead" population, "vajazzled anus" harbour and "giant cockroaches".
Gleeson kicks off his criticism with the city's dire traffic, astronomical housing prices and … giant cockroaches.
A city with an official bedtime: Gleeson suggests the lockout has made Sydney dull. Photo / Getty Images
"If your friends don't live nearby, you'll never see them again," he joked of Sydney's overly social behaviour.
"But if your friends live in Sydney, they are probably d*ckheads anyway.
"Unless you like overpriced housing, a city with its own bedtime and giant cockroaches that watch you while you sleep, don't come here."
Gleeson kicks off his tour of the Harbour City with a visit to one of Australia's most famous beaches — Bondi.
"Bondi is the Fosters of Sydney's beaches," he says while walking along the golden sands. "The tourists love it, but the locals know that it's a bit sh*t."
Before long, it's back to the harbour or, as Gleeson has dubbed it, a "vajazzled anus".
Vajazzled: Tom Gleeson had unflattering things to say about the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Photo / Getty Images
"The glittering harbour surrounds the Opera House like a vajazzled anus, he says with the Opera House gleaming in the background.
"It was designed by a Dane who thought it was so sh*t he left the country and never came back. It was built to highlight the city's culture but Sydney doesn't have any.
The four minute segment then shifts on to Kings Cross, which was once "the beating heart" of Sydney's night-life.
Comedian Susie Youssef gives viewers a walk around the dim looking streets, walking past closed nightclubs and cafes that have been shut down by Sydney's lockout laws.
Is this it? Gleeson said the NSW city has built a bridge, but has yet to get over itself. Photo / Supplied
"This place used to be the centre of Sydney's night-life," she says to the camera.
"But thankfully the lockout laws have put an end to all that violence and noise and culture and fun.
"But that's not to say Sydneysiders don't know how to have a good time. In fact, I'm going to show you a secret night-time activity that the locals love — staying home."
Bursting through a nondescript front door, Youssef walks in to a typical lounge room where the rest of her tour of this city winds up.
"This is a classic Sydney couch," she explains before nestling into the cushions.
"Still warm from the night before, food's on the way. And I brought a bottle of wine before curfew.
"If you're one of those people with a fear of missing out, don't fear. Sydney is so expensive that no one can afford to go out. So there's nothing to miss out on."
