Forward Thinking: Two sides of the dream factory

Venice Beach. Photo / Martin Sykes

"Welcome to LA, where life is one big reality-TV show," said the dude walking in step with me on my way to Venice Beach.

He had introduced himself as an actor on NCIS. After giving me his rags-to-riches life story, he proceeded to give me the 411 on survival in this crazy city.

It was my first day, after all.

"All the people in LA are the fake and phoney," he said, repeatedly, not realising the sentence was grammatically incorrect and the second adjective was redundant.

"They are all here to cut each others' throats," which I think meant "to compete with one another" but who knows, given the nature of the news bulletins I watched later that evening. (Casual shooting down the road.)

I didn't tell him why I was there in LA - to interview the stars of Disney/ABC television shows. All he needed to know was that in my down time, I was on celebrity-watch.

I had my first paparazzi moment at Venice where a topless WWE wrestler, Rob Van Dam, was posing in such a way that his muscles flexed beneath his tanned but stubbly skin. And he was holding some girl's chihuahua while she fumbled through her bag. He was more than happy to have a photo with me, though I did test his patience a little when I asked him if he wouldn't mind holding the chihuahua again. I felt like high-fiving myself for getting the ultimate Facebook picture. Sure, it was a set-up but kind of an extended metaphor for LA.

Still buzzing from my D-grade celebrity encounter, I came across what was clearly the set for a rap video. Curious, I asked the guy cutting shapes for the camera what his story was. His name was OG, OG Triggs, and he had just done 25 years. Right. So he had plenty to rap about then. But I would later discover OG might have been one of the most genuine people I'd meet in LA. The row of Chevrolets he had borrowed for the shoot? He wasn't going to drive them, not even for show. Why not? "Because I believe you shouldn't fake it 'til you make it."

I thought about fake and phoniness a little more as I sat on the set of Grey's Anatomy at Prospect Studios. Every detail, right down to the pills right at the back of the shelves - oh, and the dead man on the operating table - looked authentic. But there was no hospital smell. And no one could find me a Panadol for my headache.

I was lucky enough to talk to Chandra Wilson (Dr Miranda Bailey), Forest Whitaker, Courteney Cox and about 40 other celebrities about their work. But that's work and does not compare to the thrill of spotting Topher Grace (the guy from That 70s Show) dining at the same restaurant as me, or seeing the paparazzi crowding around a door. But as a city of contrasts, there's also the disappointment in seeing Elton John and Jack White's stars on the Boulevard splattered with wee and vomit.

And there's the cursory Google search that confirms suspicions that the oh-so-friendly "guy from NCIS" has a rather large profile with the State police - and nothing to speak of on the internet movie data base. At least OG admitted to having done time.

Still, at least I can say I saw Eva Longoria exit her restaurant, Beso, in front of the paparazzi and spotted Jamie Foxx in my hotel lobby. They will make great stories. Even if neither happened. If there's one thing I've learned from LA, it's that OG is wrong. There's nothing wrong with faking it. It's all about how you spin your phoniness. Add some lights and cameras and people will totally think you are for real.

-TimeOut