“It was my first experience of even trying to get pregnant and I thought, there’s no way, because I’m ancient,” Welch said. “It was a big shock. But it felt magical, as well. I felt I had followed a bodily instinct, in that animal sense, and it had happened.
“I think, because it was my first time being pregnant and it was my first miscarriage, I was like, okay, I’ve heard this is part of it. I spoke to my doctor and they are not generally dangerous. Devastating, but not dangerous. Emotionally, I was sad and scared, but I think, also, I was coping. With physical stuff, I have a strange, otherworldly strength. Emotionally, I’m an absolute nightmare. Literally, will crumble. But broken bone? Fine. Internal bleeding? Let’s go.”
Welch was due to headline a festival in Cornwall, so she pushed ahead – but her doctor insisted she go for a scan afterwards as she was feeling unwell.
“Women! It’s funny. I took some Ibuprofen and stepped out on stage,” she said. “I was in the elements, in the wind and rain, and I just felt something working through me. And I felt this thing take over, the thing that’s always there, the safe space of performance.
“Do you know the f*****-up thing? I didn’t want to go for the scan. I thought, I’ve done this show, I’m fine, I can cope. But my doctor’s insistence that I come in saved my life.
“I started to panic. I had a Coke can’s worth of blood in my abdomen. I tried to run away. I couldn’t go anywhere! Then I was so embarrassed that I was causing a fuss.
“It was animal instinct. Like, run. But there was an [ultrasound wand] inside me and a woman I’d never met before and I was like, gotta go! If I’d got on [a] plane, I’d have come off on a stretcher. Or worse. I think the sound that came out of me was like a wounded animal or something. And then, that was that. Ten days later, I was back on stage.”
