Confession Box: Artist Fiona Pardington talks envy, pride and lust.
ENVY
What or whom do you envy?
At the moment I'm not envious of anybody but all of us have first-hand knowledge of what that's like from both sides of the fence. The Catholics say envy is the capital vice and
many other vices are attached to it. It's a bit like a rat king and so much can go wrong. Envy is all about seeking to take away another person's success or excellence and it's something you have to guard yourself against. It's different to jealousy and some people get them mixed up. Jealousy is when you have something that you don't want anyone else to have. Envy is when you don't want someone else to have something good. It's almost a knee-jerk reaction in humankind, I think - it's all around us in the world because there are so many things that are pushed at us that we need or we want or desire.
People will have envied you at many points in your career - have you ever been negatively affected by that?
It can hurt your feelings. There are people who will work against a person to make sure they won't achieve any more than they have already achieved. That is quite hard-arse, doing that to somebody else. Yes, I have encountered that. I'm not a Christian but I take the Christian attitude of turning the other cheek. There's very little you can do other than starve the activity by ignoring it or continue to be as successful as you possibly can. Let it make you a better person.
PRIDE
Sticking with your career, you have so much to be proud of. What stands out for you?
I'm funny; I don't attach myself too easily to those types of feelings. It's a little bit superstitious, I suppose. I think it's better to practise being grateful for what you've got and grateful for what you've achieved and being happy for other people's successes, which takes us back to envy. It's easier said than done, really, because it is easier to fall into pride than to stand outside it.
In a small country where there's only so much attention and funding to go around, it can get awkward can't it, trying to be happy for other people?
Well that's the thing, not to feel that you're subject to that. Artists pull their creativity out of thin air anyway, so they're walking a fine line. Why should they suddenly feel they are grasping after this money or this success? They can create their own. And they're not taking it off anybody else. You're not actually removing or stealing other people's success or money in order to achieve your own. It's all about you doing the best you possibly can with what you have and what accomplishments you are capable of achieving.
