We are at camp and aside from the truly horrific weather, the only thing on everyone’s mind is getting rid of Jesse Tuke.
So how is Tuke dealing with it? By completely ignoring it and asking Courtenay Louise and Ron Cribb if he’s back in the gang for doingthe bare minimum. The audacity! Cribb is outraged.
“Jesse’s tryna tell me he’s proved something by putting Siobhan up and I’m like, well no, because you had to,” he distastefully tells the confession cam before explaining to Tuke he has to do at least three more good things before Cribb will even think about being bros with him again.
At this point, it’s sounding like a toxic relationship and I’ll give Cribb the same advice I give my friends, once the trust is gone, it’s done, boo. Move on.
The price of trust is four favours. Why four? No one knows but it's provocative. Photo / TVNZ
Tuke is shocked. He can’t understand why Cribb doesn’t want to be bros with him when he has done nothing but double-cross everyone and gatekeep game-changing information. It’s truly a mystery.
Realising he isn’t getting any traction with his pals, he wanders over to Siobhan Marshall, and she instantly brings up the elimination round between her and recently departed Joel Rindelaub. “Did you know that he was going to throw it to let me win?” she asks Tuke.
“Through the grapevine, someone had told me that.” His reply solidifies Marshall’s stance against him.
“He’s a stink guy - he’s great, I love him normally, but in this game, he’s a d**k. Watch out, Jesse Tuke. I’m gonna get ya,” she giggles to the confession cam.
Better watch your back Jesse Tuke. Photo / TVNZ
Meanwhile, the real threat and the one everyone should be worried about is going completely unnoticed.
Enter Louise. The cheeky actress is proving to be a pro at keeping her friends close and her enemies much, much closer. At this point, she could write a bestseller titled “Mindful manipulation tactics”.
“I just need to make sure that these guys are all convinced that Ron and Jesse are the biggest threats, and I’m not,” she tells the confession cam as she begins her plan of attack.
Louise pulls Marshall for a chat and says she’s not working with anyone else. Then she tells Cam Mansel the same thing. Honestly, it’s the Mean Girls phone call scene all over again. My 2004 self is yet to recover from the backstabbing.
Unlike Regina George, though, Louise has remorse. “I’ve never cheated on anyone, but I feel like this is kinda how you feel,” she tells the confession cam, “I’m avoiding making eye contact and stuff. I feel bad.”
Off the celebs go to the individual face-off, and Mansel decides to break his pinky promise with Tuke and use his stand-down card to put Tuke in the naughty corner.
As far as naughty corners go, it could be worse. At least he didn't have to face the wall. Photo / TVNZ
“Yeah, he obviously doesn’t value pinky promises as much as me,” Tuke responds.
Marshall takes out the win and she knows exactly who she is putting up for elimination - Tuke and Cribb - but first the celebs are treated to a hāngī with Ngāti Kurī.
It’s a moment that is as refreshing as it is emotional and the celebs walk away feeling like they have a renewed sense of self. Talk about wholesome.
It's a moment that makes them all realise, they are in fact playing a game. Photo / TVNZ
Back at camp, Tuke and Cribb realise they will be going up for elimination so Tuke does what any FBoy would do and begs Marshall for another chance.
“I want to avoid the elimination arena at all costs,” he audaciously tells Marshall and her eyeballs are very close to rolling into the back of her head.
“So did I, Jesse,” she replies. Ah yes, karma. A dish best served on the beach in front of cameras for prime-time reality TV. What a time to be alive.
When you realise she's just doing to you what you did to her. Photo / TVNZ
So then Cribb tries his luck and it’s worse than Tuke’s case. “If you put me up, I’ve actually got all the tools that Jesse doesn’t have.” This is a moment I know he will look back on and realise the plan was immaculate, but the execution was a mess.
“So basically, if I put you up and you lose, you’ll give all your clues to Jesse?” she asks the former All Black, giving him a chance to revise what he just said.
“Pretty much,” Cribb replies. Lord give me strength. “Okay, I’m still going to put you up,” Marshall says.
Marshall sticks to her word and at the elimination round she announces she is putting up Ron Cribb who is competing for Stand For Children and Inga Tuigamala’s charity, Odice, against Jesse Tuke who is competing for Live Ocean.
Against all odds, Tuke takes out the win and honestly, the goodbyes are getting harder and harder. I can’t go too much into it or I may genuinely cry.
How do they even come up with these challenges? Photo / TVNZ
Before leaving, Cribb gives his goodbye speech and tells the celebs: “I think the hardest thing was not being there while Inga passed so I’m proud of what I’ve done for the bro and I’ll head out and go visit him.”
Can we just admire the strength of this man who mourned the loss of his friend while on reality TV. He’s the real MVP.
Meanwhile, we now have our final six and things are getting heated. “Jesse has to be the luckiest person in the history of CTI”, Mansel tells the confession cam, “This is getting ridiculous.”
But Tuke is completely unaware of the growing target on his back and focuses on the clue he won after the elimination round. “I’m kinda looking at it and thinking, do I even need this thing?”
