Eli Matthewson was very close to taking out the dirty individual face-off. Photo / TVNZ
OPINION:
We’re at that point in the game where the remaining castaways are going a little bit delusional (delulu if you’re also desperately trying to be a cool hip Gen Z like me) and it gives us an adorable secret meeting between besties, Laura Daniel and Eli Matthewson.
Meeting down by the lake for some cuddles that are bound to make any Capricorn feel uncomfortable, it’s time to talk business so naturally that means talking about their Woman’s Day cover when they win the show.
But before they’re blinded by the bright lights of fame, they realise they actually need to win first and if Nick Afoa, Turia Schmidt-Peke and James Mustapic have anything to do with it then that’s going to be harder than your friendly neighbours, Colin and Lynda, trying to eat an extra spicy chicken tikka masala.
“At this point of the game it’s either stab or be stabbed and honey, I’m stabbing,” Mustapic tells the confession cam in a top he most certainly borrowed from Where’s Waldo.
God, it must be hard waking up every day and being more iconic than Paris Hilton’s “That’s hot”.
Mustapic tells his new alliance pals that he wants to get to the final three so it’s guns blazing, violence only, he’s committing to the full three-year-old who doesn’t want to get in the bath energy.
We commend him for it and are also raising our rubber duckies in the air ready to join the cause until we’re distracted by Afoa sneaking off to a prickly bush trying to find the rabbit hole to wonderland - aka. a game changing advantage.
“There’s that kid in all of us that likes a little treasure hunt,” he giggles.
Finally, he spots the clue and it’s honestly more tragic than hearing your friend talk about the guy who ghosted them for the millionth time because it’s the exact same advantage Schmidt-Peke and Matthewson also have.
Treasure Island really said, “copy and paste”.
Reading out the “slow another player down in the race to find the buried treasure” card, the musical theatre star is grinning ear to ear but we’re a little confused because recently departed Steve Price also had this advantage and didn’t he pass it onto Afoa?
Oh god, am I going delulu?
Thankfully, there’s a constellation prize bonus as the Lion King star is handed recently departed castaway Mel Homer’s scrolls and he looks like he just got a $5 note from the Tooth Fairy, “Wow Mel! You didn’t have to Mel,” he gasps.
But with great power comes great responsibility and the target on his back is just getting bigger and bigger so he needs some larger armour and he knows exactly who can help. Heading off to Camp Weka, he spies Mustapic and Schmidt-Peke sitting with Courtney Dawson.
Afoa takes a seat and Dictator Mustapic does the talking, “We were having a wee chat earlier today about a potential threat that is looming Laura and Eli, they’re a powerful force,” he says and Dawson agrees.
The musical theatre star jumps in and suggests that if any of them win the faceoff today they will put up Matthewson and Daniel in the elimination round. Dawson agrees but all is not what it seems and she lets the confession cam in on a sneaky wee secret, “In the back of my head I’m like we can still break them up if I put up Nick and Eli.”
At the individual faceoff, the castaways must replicate a puzzle on their puzzle board. Sounds easy but the catch is the puzzle they’re replicating is hidden in a big old mud pit. It’s ickier than watching someone trying to get out of a beanbag.
Afoa takes the lead – when he hears that the winner gets to choose who goes up for elimination and receives a letter from home. Unfortunately for the star he misses a major instruction and just cannot snag the win. Then Mustapic and Dawson start working together and it’s this magnificent pairing that lands her the win and a letter from home.
Sneaking off to read her letter, it provokes even more tears for this season’s tear jar and I think Kleenex should probably just sponsor the show at this point. Reading a letter from her parents, and also one from her son, she chokes up as they tell her how proud they are of her.
Despite the teary sentiments, Dawson takes one thing away from the letters, “Balls to the wall baby,” she laughs, “That’s the sentiment I’ve got from my family is to go balls to the wall and try and get to the final.”
But before we head off to the elimination battle, it’s back to the Treasure Island market where a game-changing advantage that causes some heat. It’s Daniel against Dawson, Afoa and Schmidt-Peke, then Daniel teams up with Dawson and Daniel but in a wild turn of events, Mustapic ends up with Schmidt-Peke and Afoa and they take out the win.
Is your head scrambled because same?
“Keeps its holder and one other person safe from this afternoon’s elimination,” Schmidt-Peke reads from the scroll and someone needs to call the fire brigade because this game is getting hot.
After the market, Schmidt-Peke and Afoa decide to take the scroll’s immunity while Dawson more or less promises to keep Mustapic safe the same way you say “No! Don’t be silly, you can totally have the last sausage roll, I didn’t want it anyway!”
Meanwhile, Daniel and Matthewson have a bone to pick with a sheepish Mustapic, “I know you had the least coins but you gave the coins that won it,” Matthewson tells his former alliance buddy and the comedian tries to crawl his way out of this hole by saying “it was just a heat of the moment,” but Matthewson isn’t having a bar of it. No way Jose.
He tells Mustapic Afoa needs to be in the arena tonight and it’s more awkward than telling Sharon you really did want the last sausage roll because she had four and you only had one. God Sharon!
“I felt like the responsibility of putting Laura and Eli up was onto Courtney and now I feel like I have the blame,” Mustapic tells the confession cam and we all know what this really means is where the heck is my Waldo top because I need to slip into the crowd and disappear.
At the elimination round, Dawson puts up Laura Daniel battling it out for Shine (Safer Homes in NZ) against Eli Matthewson battling it out for Burnett Foundation Aotearoa in a battle where they must create a card tower on a seesaw.
It’s frustrating and probably one of the worst in Treasure Island but Daniel prevails in a terribly bittersweet win.
“I’m feeling a mix of relief and sadness,” Matthewson tells the confession cam adding, “but I want Laura to win,” and she just might, because as well as beating her bestie, she also scores an advantage.
“There are several playing cards hidden in your camp. Collect them all – but be quick – you may not be the only one hunting for them,” she reads out and on that note, we’re onto our final five and I have some hot takes.
Strength: Cried the most this season and didn’t once have a crying face as bad as Kim Kardashian’s.
Weakness: With her bestie now eliminated, her alliance bucket is looking drier than the Sahara desert.
Predicted placing: Fifth
Strength: Have you seen this man? Is there anything he can’t do?
Weakness: He’s good at pretty much everything aka. there is a huge target on his back and those scrolls aren’t sunscreen, boo. They can’t cover it all.
Predicted placing: Fourth
Strength: She’s got the power of balls to the wall, baby - and like heaps of beneficial scrolls, but mostly balls to the wall.
Weakness: She may have friends keeping her safe now but jumping between multiple alliances has proven competition ending in seasons past.
Predicted placing: Third
Strength: He’s the scariest dictator of them all with the most iconic one-liners and is hands down New Zealand’s golden child.
Weakness: Hates getting down and dirty and absolutely will not be touching mud again even if $100,000 depends on it.
Predicted placing: Second
Strength: Aside from being like really cool, she’s also the most well-fuelled of them all. Is there a faceoff snack she hasn’t won?
Weakness: Sometimes you have to be a little bit hungry to be a lot ruthless.
Predicted placing: First
Celebrity Treasure Island airs weekly, Mon-Wed, at 7.30PM on TVNZ 2 and TVNZ +.
Lillie Rohan is an Auckland-based reporter covering lifestyle and entertainment stories who joined the Herald in 2020. She specialises in all things relationships and dating, great Taylor Swift ticket wars and TV shows you simply cannot miss out on.
The Kiwi actor has been part of the Star Wars universe for more than 20 years.