Turia Schmidt-Peke made a ruthless decision in tonight's elimination battle. Photo / TVNZ
OPINION
Treasure Island is coming in hot today as Steve Price has finally revealed his super-secret scroll. “Solve the riddle to find the location of a game-changing advantage,” he declares in his trademark husky voice.
“By the blue, still water, where the stones do lay. A secret awaits, tucked safely away. It holds the key to a path untold… Find me - I’m made of rock and old.”
Price isn’t sure what it means, so it’s the perfect time to pivot to camp Weka, where it’s more awkward than walking into the lounge after your flatmate heard you having a massive vent about them to your other flatmate.
Seriously, John, put the toilet seat down. It’s not that hard.
Turia Schmidt-Peke is thinking strategy, and tells the confession cam, “The bigger picture is, this really is just a game. I don’t want to end up beefing with anyone over a game.”
But that isn’t the drama we came here for. We need more - we need tears, we need shock, something that makes us jump out of our seats saying, “What is she thinking!?”
The producers hear our cries for help and send Laura Daniel, Mel Homer and Eli Matthewson to Schmidt-Peke, who really leans into her reality TV drama queen era and tells them that if she wins the next individual face-off, the clock will be TikToking for Jazz Thornton.
Matthewson (AKA Alliance King) panics and immediately takes on the role of unproblematic flatmate, sneaking off to tell Thornton the chakras in the flat are well off and it’s definitely time for them to bake a cake and watch Mean Girls together.
Thornton doesn’t think it’s a very fetch suggestion and starts to prepare herself for the individual face-off.
Meanwhile, Afoa proves he is only human, despite looking like a god, and is deeply in his feelings after saying goodbye to Zaddy Grylls, AKA Blair Strang. It’s a touchy subject for us as well. I’ve just finished crying.
Thankfully, the producers have a surprise, and after they hand Afoa some scrolls, his frown is turned upside down. “Aw, I know what this is,” he says, unrolling the clues. “Thank you, Blair Grylls.”
Before we can find out more, there is another alliance chat going on, this time between Dawson and Homer. They skiddaddle down to the lake, where Homer hands over the clue she promised Dawson in exchange for immunity from last night’s elimination round.
Also down at the lake is Price, who is having a hunt for his clue - and hurrah, he finds it. “This playing card is the ace up your sleeve you’ll need come the final treasure hunt. It allows its holder to slow another player down in the race to find the curried treasure. Keep it safe, keep it secret.”
Oh, Treasure Island, you are naughty for this.
Finally, it’s off to today’s individual face-off, where the castaways must partake in McDonald’s memory mayhem, and it looks as rough as the box after you ask for extra mayo in your McChicken.
Each round, they must find an item that is hidden under the hessian cones placed in front of them. If they’re the last person searching, they are out. You cannot fault production for their dedication to hessian fabric.
The castaways will get to eat whatever food they find, and the actual winner of the entire challenge will get a Big Mac combo and decide who goes up for elimination, and will also receive a secret advantage.
Treasure Island is in its give era.
It’s a challenge that gives me beep test PTSD, and ultimately, Schmidt-Peke takes out the win. She wanted that Big Mac combo more than we want Taylor Swift to reveal which ex-boyfriend her biggest hits are about.
But it’s not straight back to camp for some kai for the castaways, as host Bree Tomasel reveals she is opening the one, the only Treasure Island market - that I had completely forgotten existed.
They’re each given 15 coins that they can use to buy a series of items like food and advantages, and it seems victor Schmidt-Peke has a plan. “My cousin’s a huge fan and she told me about this, and all she said was, ’Don’t be fooled by the food, hold your money for scrolls’.”
Would it be wrong if I like, I don’t know, drew an extra box on my election voting ballot and wrote “Turia Scmidt-Peke for PM”? It feels so right.
The whole group take away some greens, Afoa and Price win a mystery prize and things get heated over a sandwich and banana, but it’s the final sale, a scroll giving players a rematch advantage, that really turns things up a notch and makes me pay attention.
Giving players the chance to request an immediate rematch after a challenge they didn’t like the outcome of, everyone’s jaw drops to the floor, but only one person can purchase it.
Well, technically two, as Dawson and Thornton combine their coins to win the rematch card. Then it’s back to a very awkward camp for the castaways.
“It’s really tense while we’re all eating McDonald’s,” Schmidt-Peke tells the confession cam, and the producers choose violence, asking if anyone wants to address the elephant in the room.
All eyes are on Schmidt-Peke. “I always said, if I got here and I ever put someone up, I would definitely tell them beforehand. I won’t spring it on people,” she tells the group.
Unbelievably, tensions were not eased, and it’s more awkward than running into your ex-boyfriend on the street of your hometown, so we segue to a chat between Dawson and Thornton.
They decided to use their shared scroll if the challenge is a close call, and promise to use a secret hand signal. But it feels messier than that ex-boyfriend being with your ex-best friend, so we’re just going head straight on into the closest store and panic-buy everything.
At the elimination round, Schmidt-Peke decides to put up mental health advocate Jazz Thornton, battling it out for Voices of Hope, against league legend Steve Price, battling it out for the Child Cancer Foundation.
In a challenge of fitness and speed, they must roll three balls down a ramp. If they drop any of the balls at any time, they’re out.
It’s a tense round, but ultimately, the speedy league legend takes out the win. Dawson waits for Thornton to make the secret sign to use their rematch advantage, but it seems like there was an unfortunate miscommunication between the queens and it sees the mental health advocate sadly sent home.
As for Price, he wins yet another scroll, and praise to the producers - we get to know what it is tonight. They knew we needed this.
“The holder of this scroll gets a one-minute head start in any upcoming challenge,” the star reads out with a grin.
“I like,” he says, and so do we, Price, so do we. Until next week, hasta la vista.
Celebrity Treasure Island airs weekly, Mon-Wed, at 7.30PM on TVNZ 2 and TVNZ +.
Lillie Rohan is an Auckland-based reporter covering lifestyle and entertainment stories who joined the Herald in 2020. She specialises in all things relationships and dating, great Taylor Swift ticket wars and TV shows you simply cannot miss out on.
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