Britney Spears has posted to her Instagram account for the first time since her explosive court speech yesterday – and in a heartbreaking move, she's offered an apology to her fans for "pretending" she's been okay for the past two years.
Fans have been confused by the disconnect between stories emerging about Spears' situation – an indefinite hiatus from her career and a strict conservatorship overseen by her father – and the sunny, carefree content on her Instagram account.
Today, Spears wrote the following caption alongside a quote from Albert Einstein about the importance of reading children fairy tales.
"I just want to tell you guys a little secret … I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I've posted … my life seems to look and be pretty amazing … I think that's what we all strive for !!!! That was one of my mother's best traits … no matter how sh**ty a day was when I was younger … for the sake of me and my siblings she always pretended like everything was OK. I'm bringing this to peoples attention because I don't want people to think my life is perfect because IT'S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL … and if you have read anything about me in the news this week … you obviously really know now it's not !!!! I apologise for pretending like I've been OK the past two years … I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn't want to capture there Instagram in a fun light !!!! Believe it or not pretending that I'm OK has actually helped … so I decided to post this quote today because by golly if you're going through hell … I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked … so I've decided to start reading more fairy tales!!!!!"
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Spears didn't mince words in court yesterday when she opened up about the image she'd projected via social media over the past couple of years.
"I've lied and told the whole world, 'I'm OK. And I'm happy.' It's a lie. I thought I just maybe [have] said that enough. Because I've been in denial. I've been in shock. I am traumatised. You know, fake it til you make it. But now I'm telling you the truth. OK? I'm not happy. I can't sleep. I'm so angry. It's insane. And I'm depressed. I cry every day," she said.
A day on, Spears appears to be in good spirits: boyfriend Sam Asghari today posted several videos of him and Spears goofing around on board what looks like a private jet.
Spears revealed in court yesterday that she would like to marry Asghari and have children with him, but has been blocked by the conservatorship.
"I have an IUD in my body right now that won't let me have a baby and my conservators won't let me go to the doctor to take it out," she said.
She also told the court that in the past she was nervous about how she'd be received if she told the truth. She feared "people would make fun of me or laugh at me and say, 'She's lying, she's got everything, she's Britney Spears'."