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The host doesn't often complain at a literary event about the rising cacophony from the bar but that is exactly what Book Slam's organiser Patrick Neate does.
However, Book Slam is no ordinary author reading and we are not in the sedate confines of a theatre or lecture
hall but at boutique west London nightclub neighbourhood.
Neate, 36, has written four novels plus Where You're At: Notes from the Frontline of a Hip Hop Planet, an exploration of the impact of rap culture in various far-flung countries. He formed Book Slam in 2004 with Everything But The Girl producer/DJ Ben Watt.
"As a novelist, I was often wheeled out by my publishers to talk to libraries and bookshops and as I'm relatively young as far as novelists go, I just thought that as live events, they were boring," explains Neate. "You always meet the same kind of people, who are either be wannabe writers or borderline nutcases. All of my mates read and I thought there must be some context in which people can have a bit more of a relaxed time and do something more fun."
Over the past three years, authors such as Dave Eggers, Nick Hornby and Zadie Smith have read short extracts of their work in between DJ sets, and live performances from the likes of rising singer/songwriter Kate Nash and Ninja Tune hip-hopper Ty.
But according to Neate, tonight's guest, infamous Trainspotting scribe Irvine Welsh is the highest profile author to so far grace the Book Slam stage.
Ironically, the last time I witnessed the so-called Poet Laureate of the Chemical Generation read was a decade ago at West-End superclub The End when he appeared at the launch of Disco Biscuits, a dance culture inspired short story collection.
Disco Biscuits' marriage of words and sounds worked better on the page than it did on the dancefloor as on the night Welsh and his fellow authors struggled to be heard above the hubbub of the crowd, who impatiently talked among themselves throughout the readings as they waited for the next DJ.
In contrast, you could have hear a pin drop at Book Slam as everyone turned off their mobiles and remained silent while Welsh read a couple of selections from his new short story collection If You Liked School, You'll Love Work.
"Disco Biscuits was more about moving from rave into literature," says Neate. "That was just about one thing, whereas Book Slam is very much the other way around. It's books that are the focus. I just happen to like music and I like beer so if you stick those three things - books, music and beer - in the same environment, I'm always going to be happy."
- Detours, HoS