We’re looking back at our columnists most popular pieces from 2015. Today, the end of The Bachelor NZ has arrived New Zealand, and the Michael Hill journey for love is over till next season. To celebrate, Alex Casey presents a rose ceremony of her own.
The end of The Bachelor NZ has arrived New Zealand, and the Michael Hill journey for love is over till next season. Before we reach for the Lindauer and snort a line of Surf 2-in-1 to dull the sadness, I thought it would be nice to hold my own roseceremony of sorts for the season.
It's very important to remember that although there's only one real winner - we're all losers in the end. Without further ado, here are my hand-picked winners for season one of The Bachelor NZ 2015.
As a famous metaphysician once said, "It ain't easy being Green". There's so much exercise required just to keep up Art Green's appearance, as the start of almost every episode has taught us. My personal favourite was when he was standing in the middle of a field lifting kettles. Where did they come from? Who cares. He probably carries them around in his back pockets, he's just that prepared for the shred.
Runner-Up: Beachfront Lunges
Art also taught us that you don't need fancy equipment like Bachelor-brand kettles to maintain a fit bod. Sometimes Art would take five and just have a cheeky lunge down the beach, slowly walking closer and closer to water's edge, kettles weighing down his pockets like a really ripped version of Virginia Woolf.
Rose for Best Fart
Winner: The Fully Loose Koala
First of all, who would have even thought this was going to be a category. Second of all, this the funniest and most disgusting thing that has ever happened in a 7.30 timeslot. Was it symbolic of the Australia/New Zealand Rivalry? Was it the spirit of Poppy? Did the Surf 2-in-1 get rid of the stains?
There is no competition in this category, nor will there ever be. This is the fart that launched a thousand kayaks, the fart that rocked the nation, the fart that changed competitive dating television forever.
