Amy Schumer opens up on her 'grey-area rape'

Amy Schumer has opened up on what she calls "grey-area rape". Photo / Getty Images

Amy Schumer has opened up about the time she was "grey-area raped", explaining that she was sleeping when an ex took her virginity.

The 36-year-old comedienne said that although her then-boyfriend immediately apologised and said he thought she "knew" what he was doing, she felt violated by the ordeal, the Daily Mail reports.

Speaking to Oprah Winfrey on SuperSoul Conversations, she said: "So in my stand-up I used to talk about … I called it grape, grey-area rape. It was a way of bringing it up in my stand up-and trying to make people laugh while they learned.

"It was really me saying, we hear about rape when we're children, and we're warned about it. But it's about a guy popping out from a bush, some villain, they don't say it's probably gonna be a guy you know really well. It could be your husband, it could be your friend.

"So when that happens to you, you say 'Okay, this isn't someone I want to see rotting in a jail cell, but what he did to me was wrong, and I didn't consent'.

"I lost my virginity while I was asleep. And that's not okay. So in my stand-up I would say 'If she's asleep, that's a no'. Just hoping that a couple of guys would see that and be in that moment and go 'This is a no, I heard this somewhere'."

The I Feel Pretty star - who is now married to Chris Fischer - also revealed how she battled with her feelings after the assault, because although she was "angry" at her partner, she was also forced to "comfort" him as he felt guilty.

She added: "The first thing he said was, 'I thought you knew'. I didn't say anything yet … He was my boyfriend. I loved him. I had to comfort him.

"I also felt really angry. It was just a feeling I had. I felt really angry at him, and it's a rage that has stayed with me. I don't think you lose that. As women, we're really trained not to get angry because that makes people dismiss you right away. But I felt I wanted to comfort him because he felt so bad and he was so worried, just tried to push my anger down."

Schumer and her former partner stayed together and eventually had consensual sex.

The Trainwreck star believes people's first reaction is to doubt victims when they speak out about their experiences.

"I think nine times out of 10, people's first reaction is to doubt the woman. It's just something men and women do."

Where to get help:

If it is an emergency and you or someone you know is at risk, call 111.
• rpe.co.nz/get-help
• Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843
• Rape Crisis: 0800 883 300
• Shine: 0508 744 633
• Victim Support: 0800 842 846
• Lifeline: (09) 522 2999
• Family Violence Info Line: 0800 456 450