Is that the sound a drunk leprechaun would make while trying to impersonate an injured cat?
That's an actual question I asked myself five songs and half an hour into Alt-J's sold out show at the Auckland Town Hall last night, the British trio's second visit and first headlining show here.
At that point, during the feline warbling and canine yelps that punctuate the rumbling menace of Deadcrush, I'd been unable to decipher a single word sung by the band's painfully shy front man Joe Newman.
With a delivery that alternates between a nasally mumble, an aching moan, and a helium-balloon falsetto, accompanied by a stage presence that's borderline reluctant, Newman is not a natural front man.
Perhaps that's why his Alt-J bandmates, precision drummer Thom Sonny Green, and keyboardist Gus Unger-Hamilton, were given equal billing on the Town Hall's stage, alongside a dazzling light show that looked like something straight out of The Matrix.
Their lack of on-stage presence doesn't mean they're not entertaining: Alt-J is a band that defies categorisation, like they've tipped out a box of complicated musical puzzle pieces and are attempting to find bits that fit together.
Watching them attempt to do it can be half the fun: tonight's opener 3WW included Fleet Foxes folk, morose mumbles, a throbbing EDM hit and a sweeping cinematic rush; while Every Other Freckle is a song that refuses to settle, a mix of skittery drum patterns, Celtic sea shanties, synth riffs and hip-hop "Hey!" chants.
Add the countrified Americana of Left Hand Free and the suitably Christmassy trumpets of In Cold Blood and Alt-J are deftly navigating the line that sits between Cleverly Obtuse Art School Project and Five-Minute Portlandia Skit.
There's undoubted musical ability there: these are complicated songs played impeccably well, led by the pinpoint metronome of Green. In the Town Hall, it sounded stunning.
And Alt-J are clearly aiming for something far bigger than the sum of their parts: perhaps Radiohead, with added sea shanties.
Delivered in single doses on the radio, or in calculated album bursts where Newman's vocals sit much clearer in the mix, Alt-J can get their point across.
But live, they're in desperate need of a front man, someone who can help connect the dots between their musical mash-ups and last night's largely stationary crowd.
They ended with Breezeblocks, and for a rare moment, you could finally hear Newman's lyrics soaring above the music, his passionate cry of, "Please don't go / I love you so," connecting all corners of the Town Hall.
To celebrate, he finally left his stationary spot on stage and, bravely, took a few steps towards the crowd, throwing his hand up to celebrate. The crowd response was deafening.
It's a shame it didn't happen more often. It would have helped break up a night that was, at times, breezy bollocks.
Who: Alt-J
Where: Auckland Town Hall
When: Tuesday, December 12