Loser, lazy and a basic b****!
Those were just a few of the things yelled at me within the first five minutes of entering Karen's Diner.
It's far from the service anyone would expect when dining out.
But believe it or not, this is the service I willingly paid
for. Because this is no ordinary restaurant.
The famous Karen's Diner - which has gone viral on social media in recent months promises good food but terrible service.
It's on its way to New Zealand shores, opening a branch in Auckland next month so I checked out the interactive dining experience in Brisbane to get a glimpse of what Kiwis are in for.
Once seated, the menus were thrown my way, along with a flurry of napkins intended for the table next to me.
The food looked good - diner-styled burgers, fries, chicken wings and thick shakes.
Then I noticed one of the waitresses standing across the table, arms folded staring at me.
"Why are you here? What the hell?" She yelled. "You could've made your own lunch seriously. Look at that outfit, wow."
It caught me off guard at first but one thing you quickly realise at Karen's Diner is the best approach is to roll with it. Banter is essential.
When a waiter came to take my order I knew it was time to clap back.
"I'll have the basic Karen burger please," I said.
"Fitting," the fiery waiter replied.
"Is that because I'm a basic b****?" I said, trying to steal his punch line.
"You said it. Did you just confirm it, yea you did." He hit back. Dam they're fast.
"With sweet potato fries?" With Aoili? The basic white b**** sauce?"
All I could do was laugh.
After enjoying what was - I might add - great food, I asked a few fellow diners about their experience.
"It's crazy, like you wouldn't expect it. It's very confronting but you have to give it back as well," one said.
"Very different experience, don't know how to feel about it, don't know if I should be offended by some of the things they say," another laughed.
After being yelled at to return to my table and having a paper bag with the words "soap opera reject" put over my head I knew it was time - in classic Karen style - to ask for the manager.
I was greeted with the biggest eye roll but it had to be done.
"I don't know why people want to come here, especially you. Why did you come here?" manager Mikeal Bobart replied after I told her of my *terrible* experience.
"The food is good but the service is s***, so don't expect anything more."
And as to her answer for why Kiwis should check it out next month.
"They shouldn't, they shouldn't come."
"Don't come. We hate you."
I took that as my cue as I saw myself out the door.