Much is made (by wellbeing-ey, feelgood-y people like me) of “being present”. That we will all be healthier and happier if we are more connected to “the now” and present with who and what we are doing, when we are actually doing it.There is, however, another equally important, yet far less discussed perspective to the “be present” position that I also think it’s important to know:
It’s totally okay not to be “on” 24/7 and engaged in every single conversation going on around you. It’s totally okay to have an enjoyable, meandering, noodle on Instagram on your phone. It’s totally okay not to listen to every single word someone wants to share with you. AS LONG AS YOU OWN YOUR ABSENCE.
If you can be present, and you choose to be present, be all there. If you don’t have the capacity, the time, the attention, the mind space, let them know.
OWN YOUR ABSENCE. It’s yours. You can do that. It belongs to you. Be clear. Be unambiguous. Say: “I can see you have something on your mind you want to share but I just cannot give you my full attention right now. Can we talk properly over dinner?” Or “Hon, I adore you, I’ve loved chatting with you over coffee — but I just need to check my email. I’d like to take 10 minutes and then resume the chat. Is that cool with you?” Or turn your phone on silent, go to lie on the bed and play on Insta to your heart’s content, with no one else expecting anything from you in that moment. Immerse yourself and enjoy.
If you are not going to be present (which is fine, no one can be all the time) OWN YOUR ABSENCE with clarity and intent.
Life coach Louise Thompson helps people unlock their happiest and healthiest life. Find more at louisethompson.com