A good friend will not just tell you that it’s all going to be fine. Because sometimes it’s just not.
A good friend will turn up with wine and her best snacks and say that it’s not going to be fine, that it will be hard, but you will get through it.
A good friend will cancel her plans, cajole you to put your trainers on and get you running or walking that trail. She knows it won’t fix or mend it, but that fresh air and movement will help in a subtle way.
A good friend will know that sometimes there are no words that will fix it, or make it better, but a gentle presence is reassuring in the darkness.
A good friend will check in and see how you are doing, even when there is nothing new to say. Sometimes it’s not all going to be fine. And having someone say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” makes you want to kill them as they inadvertently invalidate your loss. Sometimes a platitude won’t cut it. But words of wisdom won’t either. Sometimes it’s just hard. The only way out is through.
And a good friend will walk through it with you. The greatest thing they can do for you is to know they cannot heal it for you, but be there so you will not have to face it alone.
I hope you have not just one, but a good strong handful of these people in your life. Hold on to and treasure those people like gold.
Through her online Happiness programme “Wellbeing Warriors”, life coach Louise Thompson helps people unlock their happiest and healthiest life. Sign up at louisethompson.com and find more from Louise at bite.co.nz/wellbeing