I often hear smart people pushing hard to make their life a success. To make stuff happen so they can be happy: Get the bigger house. The baby. The spouse. The bach. The overseas trip. The promotion. The passion-fuelled soul-business. The qualification. The body. The reno. Get mortgage-free. The investment property. Another child. The white picket fence.
Once those things are in place, well, then we’ll have “made it”. Arrived. Got there. And that is a thing worth striving for, no? To arrive. That’s what it’s all about.
Or is it?
Here’s the thing. There. Is. No. “Arrived”.
Arrived is a destination that does not exist. Perpetually seeking “arrived” is code for deferring your happiness. It’s making your happiness dependent on a future possible external consequence. We keep striving for arriving and all it’s doing is keeping people stressed out. We never “make it”. Get all the ducks in a row. Doesn’t happen.
Why? Because “making it” is not a real outcome in life. Life is not built to have that definitive “made it” point. Life is meant to be an endless process of expansion. Fulfilling one desire is the route to another desire being born within us. Fulfilled desire breeds new desire. We are never “done”. It’s about continual expansion, not completion. We never truly “arrive”. How different would it feel to put our focus instead on thriving, rather than the false promise of arriving?
Thriving is something you do now, not at some indeterminate point in the future. Thrive is active, it’s now. It’s “what can I do now to feel good today, in my work/ life/ health/ relationship/home?”
Thriving means seizing the day. What feels better in this moment? How can I demonstrate more love/ kindness/strength/wisdom in this moment? Thriving means enhance the experience right now. How can I bring more fun/love/companionship/joy to this thing I am doing right now.
Thriving means relishing each task ahead as a gift in some way. Thriving means relishing each interaction as a universe-sent message or lesson of value. Thriving means giving of our best energy no matter what. Thriving means appreciating the small stuff, the little details in which the joys of life are held. The shared smile at the café. The email saying well done. The flat pack set that clicked into place. The paw on the lap.
Thriving means relishing the best each moment brings, not waiting for the big moments of pivotal change to deliver it all. Thriving is a mindset for contented and joyful living no matter the circumstance. Arriving may inspire us to greatness and achievement (and goals are definitely a good thing), but thriving ensures we enjoy the journey along the way.
Thriving is the new arriving. You heard it here first.
thrive (thrahyv)
verb (used without object), thrived or throve, thrived or thriven, thriving.
- to prosper; be fortunate or successful.
- to grow or develop vigorously; flourish: The children thrived in the country.
arrive (uh-rahyv)
verb (used without object), arrived, arriving.
- to come to a certain point in the course of travel; reach one's destination: He finally arrived in Rome.
- to attain a position of success, power, achievement, fame, or the like: After years of hard work, she has finally arrived in her field.
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Louise Thompson is a life coach, author and corporate escapee. Read Bite articles from Louise or visit louisethompson.com for more.
