Congruence: Big word. Big impact.
What is it? And why should it matter to you? Well lean in darling, listen closer...I want to talk about congruence and why it’s the number one reason you are not getting what you want in your life.
If you are not enjoying the amount of money you have in your life, you probably have a congruence issue.
If your body does not look and feel like you want it to feel, you probably have a congruence issue.
If your work-life balance and stress levels are not where you want them to be, you probably have a congruence issue.
Congruence. Agreement. Harmony. Corresponding. Alignment.
I see lack of congruence all the time: The woman who wants very much to have more money, but who also believes that rich people are inherently selfish. The guy who is way overweight and wants to be slim and fit but also believes that eating healthy is hard and expensive. The woman who wants more free time and relaxation but who also believes that everything has to be done perfectly and you can’t relax until it’s done.
Listen up, yo! If you desire one thing, and, I know you really, really want it: that’s great. You should want it. Dream higher. Want better. Seek improvement. That’s good.
Your desire isn't the problem. The reason you are not getting it, and keep not getting it, is not because there is a problem with you wanting it. The problem is that you have a lack of congruence with what you believe about it.
The money can’t come if you believe rich people are selfish. You will subconsciously sabotage yourself from reaching the desire as you don’t want to be selfish. The fit body you so want to live in and you want to enjoy can’t come if you believe healthy eating is hard and expensive, because you will sabotage your eating habits on a regular basis. The healthy life-work balance and the calm zen you that you so want cannot come into existence because you will not be able to stop yourself from consistently sabotaging your efforts to go to yoga, meditate or chill in front of TV with the need to get things done, at work, at home, tidy, all complete, will override it.
You can’t DESIRE one thing, but BELIEVE the opposite and GET IT in any kind of consistent or long-term manner. It just can’t happen. You need to have congruence or alignment between what you desire and what you believe about it, really, deep down, believe about it.
Step one to being wealthier, or slimmer, or fitter, or less stressed isn’t joining a gym or looking for a new job. The first step is getting congruence between what you want and what you think about it. When you do that everything clicks into place.
Congruence means ease. Congruence delivers ease. It means the end of self-sabotage. It cuts to the chase. No more "trying" to lose weight. You just lose the damn weight. No more "trying" to relax more, you just chill out when you need to, no apology necessary. No"trying" to get more money. You budget, sell some stuff, save, change your job, whatever you need to do. It just gets done. No struggle. No fight.
Congruence dials you into ease and flow. It reduces the amount of effort and will power required. It cuts self sabotage off at the knees. Now — doesn’t that sound like a more relaxing way to get what you want?
You can’t DESIRE one thing, but BELIEVE the opposite and GET IT in any kind of consistent or long term manner.
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Louise Thompson is a life coach, author and corporate escapee. Read Bite articles from Louise or visit louisethompson.com for more.