Nope, this was a victory of style over substance. All of these services are widely available in one form or another from countless existing providers.
Instead, in the absence of a novel product and as global smartphone sales begin to droop, when it comes to innovation Cook seems to be tossing in the towel.
Apple is seeking to prop up revenues by using its continued market heft - with an installed base of 900 million iPhones and 1.4 billion devices - to offer a mish-mash of bundled services.
Under the circumstances that may be understandable, but has it really come to this? How did the mighty Apple, pioneering creator of cutting-edge consumer tech, inventor of the iPad, the iPhone and the Apple Mac, find itself reduced to a middle of the road, middle-aged brand flogging credit cards, bland TV shows and subscriptions to Men's Health and InStyle magazines?
To be fair, it's not difficult to sympathise with the invidious position in which Cook finds himself.
After over a decade of relentless growth, the global smartphone market, which Jobs created and that fuelled Apple's spectacular rise to become the world's first trillion dollar company last August - after a 50,000 per cent rise in its share price since it first listed in 1980 - has turned. It is now shrinking with global smartphone sales expected to fall to 1.8 billion units in 2019, a drop of 3 per cent from 2018, according to figures from CCS Insight.
Apple's smartphone market share has also fallen from 23 per cent in late 2011 to 18 per cent at the end of 2018 as it has struggled against Chinese rivals like Huawei and Xiaomi. They produce similar products at lower prices, especially popular in key growth markets like China and India.
Apple has made strategic missteps too. Far from staying at the leading edge, Apple seems to have missed the boat in one of the few remaining hot areas of the smartphone market: 5G, a technology that will offer download speeds up to 100 times faster than existing devices when it is rolled out.
About 220 million 5G phones will be sold in 2020, rising to 930 million in 2023 to account for almost half of all mobile phone sales, according to CCS.
Yet while key competitors Samsung, Oppo, Xiaomi and Huawei have all unveiled plans for new 5G phones in recent weeks, Apple is not expected to follow suit until late 2020. That hands rivals an 18-month head start, a virtual aeon in the fast-moving and hyper-competitive global handset market.
So what happens next? Make no mistake. Apple remains a fearsome company with some brilliant people. With a more than US$890b market cap, it remains the world's second biggest company with colossal firepower to pull off transformative deals.
Sales of wearables such as the Apple Watch and AirPods headphones are still performing well, rising by more than 50 per cent in the final three months of 2018. Its services division, which includes sales of apps and music, increased revenues to US$10.8b in the same period, up more than 25 per cent on a year ago.
But iPhones still contribute the bulk of revenue - nearly 62 per cent of the total. There is no obvious killer product on the horizon that could conceivably replace this.
Can Cook's new strategy of focusing on services work? Perhaps, but it's hard to see quite why it should. If Apple is no longer about making bold bets on cutting-edge design and empowering, intuitive technology, then what exactly is it?
And if it can't sustain its position as a technology leader, then it is surely destined to fail as a provider of content, financial services and video games.
Naturally, it might take a while for the rot to set in.
Cook might yet surprise us with some new piece of genius dreamed up by its cleverest developers, but there is little sign of it yet.
Certainly, as Apple, the company founded by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniack in a California garage in 1976, fights to regain its mojo, Oprah Winfrey seems like an unlikely saviour.
