Then I began to take more notice of my environment. Although the house was clean, almost every inch of the place was crowded, most of it with things she rarely uses.
For example:
• Multiple collections of teapots and condiment sets decorate many of the kitchen shelves - not just high shelves but also easy-to-reach ones that you'd expect to hold regularly used kitchen equipment or food items.
• The available working space beside the kitchen sink is no more than a few inches - 'stuff' crowds the rest of the small space.
• Only two of the elements on the stove top can be used without shifting several piles of other utensils. (They are clean, at least!)
• It is a nuisance to use the oven - first you have to clear it of a pile of casserole dishes and other crockery, presumably stored there because there is no more cupboard space.
• The small dining/kitchen table has just enough room for two to sit at. The rest of the table carries a random selection of books, papers and magazines.
• In the bathroom are multiples of all the normal paraphernalia - and it's not for anyone else. She lives alone.
• 'Is it possible to borrow your iron?' I asked on Sunday morning. We were about to head out for a relaxed luncheon with friends and I wanted to wear the new white cotton dress I'd just bought. For a moment she looked a bit bothered but then said, 'Hang on, I'll get it.' The next four minutes were spent pulling out a plethora of seldom-used things from a hard-to-reach cupboard so she could reach a box containing the iron. (I did say 'don't worry' but once she started she was unstoppable.)
What I noticed was a complete lack of logic in placement of commonly used items, and maybe a compulsion to acquire 'stuff'. (We didn't discuss it but the environment indicated this possibility.)
But it was more than clutter - I quickly discovered that many items in the house didn't function properly.
• Some of the cupboard doors are very difficult to shut - when I went to help with something in the kitchen I was warned not to open certain cupboards or we'd never get them shut. Too bad if you want any of the many items tucked away there.
• The washing machine is hidden underneath piles of kitchen clutter and never used. Instead she does most of her laundry by hand and when she has a large amount of linen she uses a friend's machine.
• Most of the windows can't be opened properly - there are too many things on the window sills.
• It was hot so I turned on my bedroom fan when I went to bed. It ran for fifteen minutes and then started making an excruciatingly loud noise. Result: no ventilation on a very hot night.
• Half the light switches don't work - or maybe bulbs need replacing?
• 'Be very careful not to touch that mirror', she said as we crowded past a tall mirror on the wall. 'It will fall down if you do.'
• Even the front door can't be fully opened due to things piled up behind it - we slid in sideways.
Result: underneath the kindness and very genuine hospitality she often displayed an aura of frustration and low-level stress, sometimes triggered by seemingly small and unrelated issues.
It's certainly not for anyone to say how much 'stuff' is right for another - we all have different standards and comfort levels. But I do know that my friend would improve the quality of her life and greatly diminish her stress levels if she could clear some of her clutter and also get her appliances and home back into working order.
So what would in your life needs to be decluttered or fixed? Follow the frustration path and you'll have your answers.
And if you'd like tips and a clear process on how to clear your clutter, you'll get all the help you need with the ebook version of 'Getting A Grip On The Paper War'
Robyn Pearce (known as the Time Queen) is the MD of GettingAGrip.com, an international time management and productivity training company based in New Zealand. Get your free report 'How To Master Time In Only 90 Seconds' and ongoing time tips at www.gettingagrip.com 
