Peter Bromhead: Winston is back

Cartoon / Peter Bromhead

Opinion

After the outbreak of World War II, Winston Churchill emerged from the political wilderness to be appointed First Lord of the Admiralty.

When the Admiralty Board was informed of his post, a signal was sent to the fleet: "Winston is back."

As the signal flags were hoisted, virtually every sailor afloat cheered and, to celebrate the occasion, an extra tot of rum was issued.

At naval school, I still vaguely recall the order of the flags signalling the announcement, which was the sort of nautical nonsense one was expected to remember as a prospective cadet facing a life on the ocean wave.

Back here, in Epsom territory, I'm wondering if, post-election, I should ask a nearby neighbour of John Key, who happens to have a flagpole, whether I could borrow the mast to run up the same signal flags, thus putting my misspent education to good use, as well as making sure the Prime Minister knows that, indeed, "Winston is back".

Of course, this is published pre-election, so I'm presuming that the prospective parliamentarian, who John Key says "he can't work with", will actually be successful in the polls.

As a cartoonist, I'd be happy to see this particular old warrior re-enter Parliament; he's easy to draw and leads (like Muldoon) with his chin, leaving the door wide open for satire. While Peters smoothly reassures his gullible followers that his policy will be about keeping the opposition honest, it's worth reminding everybody this is the same wily old campaigner who two elections back stated firmly he wouldn't accept any of "the baubles of office" if re-elected - only to be swiftly elevated into a senior ministerial role with all the perks and trappings, once he had his foot on the plush carpet again.

If he is voted back into Parliament, it's surely not because of his high-falutin' ethereal promises - but more to do with oozing pots of charm to all and sundry, and snappy dressing.

Peters is the nearest thing we have in politics to "a personality". He talks and struts his stuff with the confidence of a 1930s Hollywood gigolo and I understand why his political adversaries despair of him.

So, why not vote for him? Well, my late grandmother would sum him up simply with this cautionary reminder: "Never trust a man who parts his hair down the middle, because it means he can never make up his mind on anything."