Peter Bromhead: Jet by mobile

Cartoon / Peter Bromhead

"How come I can't command a private jet from a mobile app?" I whined at the caregiver, after reading about a wealthy Middle East family who booked a US$500,000 private jet to Europe, by using an application on a digital device.

"Well, you do have a travel thingy on your phone - if you bothered to look," she patiently replied.

It turned out to be a booking app for an inter-city bus.

"I'm hardly going to boast to my savvy mates that I commute on buses, am I?" I gruffly responded, sensing the caregiver was riding roughshod over my psychological needs.

Clearly, she doesn't understand that when blokes gather around a bar table and start showing off their latest mobile apps, flaunting something that reserves a bus seat isn't going to improve my status as a high-flyer.

"Anyhow, I agree I may never need a private jet, but I'd still be grateful if you download the app - just to show my mates," I pleaded, seeking the caregiver's help because I don't understand the technical process.

Ignoring her pitying looks, I stressed, "It's for my social well-being.

"When I'm drinking with the boys, it's important that I'm up with the play."

"Okay," she wearily agreed, fiddling with my mobile. "I'll sign you up with an American company that commands a fleet of jets."

"Great!" I replied, thinking smugly about what my drinking buddies would exclaim when I casually show them I can hire a private jet straight from my cellphone. "Wow Peter!" they'd murmur, "you're still a game changer!"

"There's a US$2500 annual membership fee to join, are you happy to pay that?" murmured the caregiver.

"Wait!" I squawked loudly. "Two thousand five hundred US dollars?" I said nervously, thinking that's an awful lot of bus trips.

The caregiver added, "I should also warn you, this particular membership only covers you for flying in the US.

"However, that means next time you land at San Francisco, you could hire a private jet for the 15 minute flight to Palo Alto, for a mere US$3000."

"Three thousand dollars!" I gasped.

As I can obtain a senior citizen's rail ticket from San Francisco airport to Palo Alto for US$7.50, I've decided my desire to enhance my present low-flying status as a bus and train devotee may need to wait until my pension allowance improves.