Peter Bromhead: Frying eggs on the footpath

Cartoon / Bromhead

One of the benefits of global warming - if we believe the cries of the climate alarmists - is that sooner or later we'll all be frying our eggs on the footpath.

When I first read such dire warnings in some obscure scientific journal, I thought little more of it. One of the advantages of old age is that I'm not likely to be around when the pavements are ready to serve as a cook top.

But for budding chefs who wish to hone their egg-frying abilities using solar resources, there are several locations where one can already practise the art.

Unfortunately, I cannot name them, for fear of starting another egg-frying frenzy such as recently happened in California's Death Valley National Park after a park employee posted a video of herself cooking an al fresco egg in 53C heat.

The video took off and hundreds of visitors descended on the park to repeat the performance.

Of course, the park employee, being a responsible person, demonstrated her egg-frying abilities using a skillet complete with lid.

In her video, she clearly points out that to cook eggs, you have to cover the pan to stop evaporation.

Of course, the dumb public took no notice of her advice and instead turned up with cartoons of eggs that they tried to fry on the nearest rock.

The result is that Death Valley is now covered in half-cooked eggs, and the park's maintenance crew has the unenviable task of scraping up the mess.

"It's worse than trying to remove chewing gum," muttered an annoyed park ranger.

Sadly, we seem to live in a world accustomed to following only the wisdom of lofty catering gurus who have reached saintly status on TV, such as Gordon Ramsay or the hapless Nigella Lawson.

Nobody is going to take any notice of a lowly park employee's egg-frying advice.

My recommendation to the park authorities is do a deal for a TV catering show hosted by somebody like Anthony Bourdain, whom I'm sure would also know how to grill rattlesnake - stuffed with cactus and feta - as well as how to prepare eggs correctly.

The marketing possibilities for a new range of souvenirs are endless. Even I would enjoy preparing cholesterol-loaded eggs in a skillet emblazoned with "Death Valley" around the splattering rim.