However, these strangers do yak on about the 'magic of compounding' and how higher returns might be achieved over the long-term (whatever that is) if I take on a extra risk at least that's what their historical models suggest.
Let me know how that works out will you?
To sweeten the deal, the government has promised to throw in a further $521.43 if I get the money to you by June 30 an offer just good enough to consider.
(Although, I do recall paying the government much more than that after completing my GST103 (GST and Provisional Tax) return last month.)
With luck, by the time you receive it our KiwiSaver provider will have turned this $1564.29 (less fees and other charges) into something more substantial or at least not diminished its purchasing power beyond recognition. Depending on how that goes, this year's contribution plus the other funds I have sent you already (and any future payments I may remit) could:
bankroll your regular winter retreat somewhere tropical;
go towards that new hip;
pay for a lamb roast down the RSA one Sunday.
I hope you use this money wisely, I know I wouldn't.
Which brings me to my final word of warning. Whatever you do, do not spend a cent of our precious financial reserves backing the Dutch football team to win a major international trophy - it won't happen this time either. Try to learn something from history.