Ex-Files with Jeremy Sutton: My fiance called off our engagement - can I get the ring back?

Q: My fiance called off our engagement several months ago. At the time, this came as a shock to me. Photo / 123RF

OPINION

Q: My fiance called off our engagement several months ago. At the time, this came as a shock to me. We had been living together for around a year. I thought our relationship was strong. We planned to get married next February. I had paid a non-refundable deposit to secure a popular Waiheke wedding venue. I also paid for the engagement ring she selected at an eye-watering cost. I thought she would be reasonable and return the ring to me. So far, she has ignored my messages about this. I believe she should repay me half the cost of the wedding venue deposit and return the ring to me. What are my chances of getting an order to this effect from the Family Court? Is this something worth me pursuing?

In short, yes, you could apply for orders from the Family Court, but it probably would not be worth it.

The Domestic Actions Act 1975 allows the court to restore a party who is financially worse-off after an engagement has ended to the position they would have been in had the engagement not occurred. It is important to note this legislation does not apply to those who have been in a de facto relationship for three years or more; in this case, the relationship property legislation applies. An agreement to marry that is terminated is required, so this legislation will also not apply to those in de facto relationships who have not become engaged.

There is the need to draw a distinction between cases where couples have lived together from those where they have not. Where couples have lived together, it is more appropriate to deal with applications under this legislation “holistically” and look at all assets, rather than isolated assets such as engagement rings. The contributions made by both parties to the relationship will also need to be considered: both financial and non-financial (for example, housework and caring for children). This sort of investigation by the court would likely mean a longer hearing time and more detailed evidence. This spells more uncertainty as to the outcome and higher legal fees.

So, the longer a couple have lived together, the more difficult it will be to seek orders under the Domestic Actions Act.

Q: My fiance called off our engagement several months ago. Can I get the ring back? Photo / 123rf

A request for the return of an engagement ring under the Domestic Actions Act could also be “rebutted” by an argument that the relationship property legislation should apply, even though the de facto relationship is of less than three years’ duration. A judge would have the discretion to “pick” this legislation over the Domestic Actions Act if he or she considered your ex-partner had made a substantial contribution to the de facto relationship and a serious injustice would arise if an order was not made under this legislation. In this case, the ring would be a gift and therefore your ex-fiance’s separate property. The lost wedding venue deposit would constitute funds spent during the relationship and the court would likely not revisit the issue.

Finally, if your ex-fiance no longer has the ring, the court would be unable to make an order for its return to you. An order could only be made for compensation. The compensation would likely be equivalent to the current (second-hand) value of the ring, or whatever your ex-fiance sold it for and not the original purchase price or insurance value.

Jeremy Sutton is a barrister and family lawyer at Bastion Chambers.