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Home / Business / Markets / Currency

'I will be the world's first trillionaire': Crypto bro's bizarre essay on how to get rich

By Nick Whigham
news.com.au·
24 Jul, 2018 07:37 AM5 mins to read

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Crypto bro's bizarre essay on how to get rich. Photo / Instagram

Crypto bro's bizarre essay on how to get rich. Photo / Instagram

The world seems to be enjoying a current obsession with self-made billionaires, but in centuries gone by there was a term, usually derogatory, that was sometimes thrown at such people: Nouveau riche.

In English, it essentially translates to "newly rich" and is used to describe those whose wealth has been acquired within their own generation rather than by a family inheritance. Because of this fact of recent social mobility, those lumped into the category were thought to often lack the class and dignity of those who had come from a wealthy family.

If there's a nouveau riche these days, it includes people like Chris Kelsey.

He is what you could describe as a millionaire crypto bro and claims to be on track to become the world's first trillionaire.

After dropping out of high school six months before graduation to become an entrepreneur at 17, Mr Kelsey soon realised his goal of getting rich. He sold his app development company Appsitude in a deal which reportedly made him a millionaire at the age of 19.

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He then co-founded a now defunct start-up called Cazza that sought to develop 3D printing technologies to construct buildings and he and his co-founder were featured in Forbes Asia 30 under 30 list last year before a falling out.

He is also the founder of an obscure cryptocurrency called Kelsey Coin which doesn't actually act like a currency but is a designed to be a kind of digital bank that lets people easily trade the digital tokens.

Information outside of that provided online by Mr Kelsey is hard to find and while it appears to be well intentioned the digital token space is filled with scams.

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But Mr Kelsey says he wants to help people achieve their own success.

He has a YouTube account that is populated with videos of him talking to his audience about things like: "What's it like to drive a Ferrari" and other helpful lessons such as "How to always have the perfect breath" and "How to use drugs properly".

His latest act of tutelage is an article published via Medium today delightfully titled "How to Become a F**king Millionaire".

While it contains life advice that wouldn't be too out of place in a Jordan Peterson self-help book, it makes for some unusual reading.

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"I became a f**king millionaire at 19. I finessed my way there and I didn't give the time of day to anyone who wanted to stop me," he wrote. "Now I'm on my way to becoming the youngest self-made billionaire in the world at 21."

If nothing else, the 21-year-old certainly isn't lacking in confidence and he's not afraid to make some truly absurd statements.

"I will become the world's first trillionaire. My goal is to change the world in a way that has never been done before. Most billionaires are pussies afraid to make a difference, thankfully I'm not a little bitch," he wrote.

That's a lofty ambition indeed. The world's richest person today is Amazon founder Jeff Bezos who has a personal net worth of $US143 billion. Even the world's richest company, Apple, has yet to reach the $US1 trillion valuation.

There are some nice parts to Mr Kelsey's essay ("Just because someone hasn't made it big yet does not mean they're a bad influence") and some decidedly weirder parts ("Some idiots said that my article 'I Didn't Eat or Drink for 18 Days' is fake, and they're wrong").

The central tenets of advice in the article include things like "don't be a d**k", "don't let liars (weak people) bring you down", that "it's OK to lie to others when you need to, but never lie to yourself" and the wisdom that a lot of rich people are surprisingly insecure and should not be thought of as role models.

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In rambling parts of the article he labels critics "losers" and implores his readers to do the same.

The Medium article has largely been ignored but the small reaction it has received showed people weren't necessarily eager to embrace his profanity-laden, cocksure advice.

On Hacker News, one user sarcastically labelled it "great advice" and said it was simply "self congratulating and self promoting".

While on reddit, one person summed it up more succinctly: "You sound like a cocaine fuelled twat, mate."

The author wasn't phased, simply replying: "Good".

It remains to be seen if one day he becomes a household name and achieves his stated goal of "curing poverty," or whether the viewership of his strange YouTube videos remains in double digit figures and you never hear of him again.

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At the very least it's certainly worthwhile remembering one of Mr Kelsey's pearls of wisdom: Rich people aren't role models.

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