"You're saying, 'This is all the value I'm giving, this is what you get from me and this is what I'm worth,'" Vickery said.
Study after study shows women are less likely than men to negotiate hard in a pay rise conversation.
Vickery says he has been shocked at how reluctant some of his female clients are to demand what they deserve.
"It's really sad because they tend to have this expectation that if they're worth a pay rise, they'll be given one and it's so different from reality," he said.
"We spend a lot of time focusing on the right way to ask, because unfortunately it can sometimes be easier for women to be seen as aggressive when they ask for what they want.
"A client of mine had been working at this company for four years and they'd never given her a pay rise even though she was going above and beyond. It got to the point where she needed to say something and when she did, she got a 20 per cent pay rise."
Here's Vickery's five-step guide to helping you navigate that awks conversation with your boss:
1. Understand your worth
This is all about figuring out what everyone else is getting and whether you're being underpaid.
"Get a feel for where the market is at," Vickery said. "What are your colleagues getting paid? Go to websites like Glassdoor and Payscale and get a feel for what other people are getting. If you know anyone in recruitment, chat to them about what your position is worth."
This will give you a ballpark figure and help you decide if there are any major, unfair discrepancies you need to deal with.
2. Build your case
You need to prove why you deserve more money.
Have you just started a new job and are working towards hitting your targets? Or have you been in your position for a while and you're smashing your KPIs?
"Look at your job description and make a list of all the things you're doing above and beyond that," Vickery said.
"Put it in writing and give it to your manager, because they will need that when they have to go to their CFO or financial manager and justify the raise."
3. Prepare to back yourself
It's possible your initial request will be rejected or you'll face some resistance.
Vickery has a strategy called the "Four Fs" he likes to use if this happens — Feel, Felt, Found and Facts.
"It's just a loose formula for what to say if your boss says, 'I don't think you're worth a pay rise,'" he said.
"You say, 'I understand how you feel and I felt that way too until I found out the facts, that I am actually doing this, this and this and bringing XYZ to the company.' You take them through the journey you've been through to prove yourself."
If that doesn't work, ask your manager directly what work you need to do to achieve a pay rise.
"Ask them for three things you can do in the next six months that would help you on that path," Vickery said.
4. Plan the conversation
This is when you map out your strategy. Think about when, where and how you're going to approach the conversation.
Will you wait until your annual review or arrange a separate time to chat?
Vickery recommends writing down a list of everything you want to say, so you don't get nervous and forget your points.
"Even if you can't get a pay rise out of it, it's a good opportunity to set yourself up for next time," he said.
"People get disheartened, but it's still a good opportunity to say, 'What are the things I can be doing for the next annual review that will get me what I want?'"
5. Actually get off your butt and do it
"I make this a step because so many people just talk about it but don't actually do it," Vickery said.
"Everyone takes the information, but they never actually do anything about it. It's scary but even if you think you're going to fail, the more you do it, the more confident you get."
