With this paypacket, I thee wed

Instant communication has not made it easier to find a good employee - or employer.

We live in a world where instant gratification has become the norm. We download books, films and music instantaneously and communicate with friends in real time anywhere in the world via social media. For matters of the heart, Tinder reduces the laws of attraction to a single swipe to the left or the right. A quick perusal of LinkedIn can also provide a potted employment history of many candidates seeking work.

At first glance, it is therefore quite curious that in this "age of impatience" the permanent recruitment process is still a bit like an old-fashioned courtship. Candidates have to show their initial interest in a role by writing a love letter to a recruiter or hiring manager, indicating the dowry they can offer to the potential union by way of their CV. If successful at this stage, they go on several dates, interviewing initially with a recruiter, then with a company's hiring manager, and later with other team members -- the equivalent of meeting the parents. Meanwhile, everyone is on best behaviour as they try to impress and win the hand of the potential employer or employee.

Throughout this convoluted and contrived courtship process, an employee has to cheat on their current employer by arranging all of these assignations in secret.

This in itself can be hugely stressful, especially in the relatively small New Zealand market where there is often only one degree of separation.

Going to interviews in worktime can mean staging a covert operation worthy of Willie Apiata as, suspiciously smartly dressed; you plot to cross into enemy territory under the spurious excuse of a visit to the dentist. For those of us blessed with a conscience, this can induce feelings of guilt. Add to this heady mix the "human factor" of administrative delays and lack of communication, and it is little wonder that the courtship process can be so drawn out. However, much like a bad romance, a bad hire can have significant financial and emotional costs. When you factor in advertising, time taken out of interviewers' days, a decline in productivity, and the corrosive effect a jarring personality can have on team culture, it's crucial to get it right before you commit.

Like any relationship, the foundations of a long and happy hire are built on trust and open communication.

*Don't keep people hanging -- if you're "just not into" a candidate, let them know as soon as you are able, so as not to engender false hope.

*Update candidates regularly. Even if the hiring process is delayed, as long as you maintain regular contact, your suitors are less likely to stray.

*Give constructive feedback. Palming interviewees off with a generic "Dear John" letter is the commercial equivalent of being dumped by Post-it. It's bad manners and bad for business.

*Be ready to commit: have the potential hire signed off by the powers that be so you can move quickly with an offer.

*Equally, as a candidate, it's important to be honest if this relationship is not exclusive and you are seeing other people or even trying to make your current employer jealous to elicit a counter-offer. This sort of game-playing won't do you any favours in the long run.

If, after all this wooing, your dream candidate signs on the dotted line, remember to keep the romance alive in those first few weeks of on-boarding.

New hires will be needy, nervous and even a bit neurotic, so tender loving care and commitment is vital.

Disruptive technology aside, you really can't hurry love.

Lucy Nichols is the client development manager for Madison Recruitment