Robyn Pearce: Reward the behaviour you want more of

The priniciple of praising good behaviour works well with adults and children alike. Photo / Thinkstock

Whatever we focus on enlarges.

If we want people involved and engaged in the organisation's goals, put the attention there. Praise them when they perform well, minimise your attention on activities you don't want them to focus on, or behaviour you'd prefer them not to engage in. Praise releases energy, criticism kills it. Also, almost everyone improves what they measure. Ask any salesperson.

This works at all ages. A 9-year-old lad was frustrating his mother beyond belief. Every time she asked him to do some perfectly innocuous task, all she got in return was grumbling and complaints.

Refrains like: 'It's not fair; it's Maurice's turn; I didn't make the mess; I don't want to,' echoed round the house. In the midst of her frustration, one day Mother realised she'd begun to sound as cranky as him.

In desperation she suddenly remembered hearing about Positive Parenting. In a nutshell, if you reinforce desired behaviour and ignore or give as little attention as possible to unsatisfactory behaviour, the bad behaviour is supposed to diminish. She was clear out of ideas so decided to give it a go.

She picked a calm moment. 'Jimmy, I'm not happy about the way you complain every time you're asked to do a chore. And I'm not happy about myself either - I'm beginning to sound like you! I've had a better idea.

'Every time I catch you not complaining when you're asked to do something, you'll get a star. We'll keep a list on the fridge. When you've earned 10 stars, you get an ice cream. And if I forget to notice that you haven't complained, you're allowed to remind me, so we can get those stars up there as fast as possible.'

Jimmy took up the suggestion enthusiastically, his mother remembered to praise him to the skies the first few times he willing accepted a task, and amazingly quickly the habit became reinforced. After three ice creams they forgot to keep track, and it was never an issue again.

A business example:

A colleague is consistently late for deadlines and meetings. You've had discussions but he just doesn't seem to be able to change. He's probably an 'in-time' processor. (For more on that topic read my article 'They're always late!' - How we process time' May 16, 2012)

To get change, the 'late one' has to want to improve and obviously has to make some effort for himself. You can help by also praising him every time he does meet a deadline or arrives at a meeting on time, rather than only focusing on lateness. You might be surprised at the result.

Your colleagues will be wearing bigger shoes than Jimmy and the reward just might be a bit more significant than an ice-cream, but try it - the principle works just fine with adults too!

Robyn Pearce (known as the Time Queen) is the MD of GettingAGrip.com, an international time management and productivity training company based in New Zealand. Get your free report 'How To Master Time In Only 90 Seconds' and ongoing time tips at www.gettingagrip.com

For more on NZ business ambitions go to www.businessambition.co.nz