How would that be an advantage?
A dictator makes up the rules on everything – even how much testing on humans is necessary to prove a vaccine's
safe.
Come on, dad, what happens if doesn't work, or it's unsafe and people start dying? What happens then?
Pretty much nothing, son.
Nothing?
No, nothing. There's a good chance most Russians wouldn't even find out about any deaths.
Dad, be serious.
I'm being serious. This guy Putin who runs the show also runs everything else. Like the media. There would be nothing on Russian television or in the papers if people start dying or the jab just doesn't work. Russia has the same sort of set-up as the Chinese. The Chinese doctor that discovered the virus was grabbed by the cops and forced to apologise for attempting to alert the world to it.
Yeah, yeah, I heard about all that. But the upside is that the Russians get a vaccine first because the Putin guy has been able to slash all the testing red tape. He's fast-tracked it. His scientists say it'll work. His eldest daughter has had a jab.
Ha ha. She has. But he hasn't.
You're nit picking, dad. It may be their medical researchers are much smarter than we give them credit for. They only needed 2000 tests on humans, not the thousands we do. And not the months and months of time we seem to need to finish anything.
If they were smarter, son, Putin's mob wouldn't have been trying to hack into the research work done in Europe and America last week. Putin is desperate to look like a hero particularly as he's changing the rules to make himself president for life.
I think we're all just jealous, dad.
What do they teach you about Russia in school?
Not much. Not anything really. But I know it's a big nuclear power and has masses of natural resources like gas. Places like Germany need it for a third of their energy to keep the lights on and factories working. Why are you sighing?
My dear boy, Russia is no big bear. It has a pile of nukes but the whole of the Russian economy is smaller than New York's. It's feeble.
Smaller than New York City?
Yeah. And it's been going backward for years, particularly after Putin invaded Crimea. Russia is a mafia state. There's not a single scientist who can say what they really think about cutting the testing period short. Unless they want to be thrown in the clink.
But people are saying this vaccine is Russia's latest sputnik.
Well in a way it is. Do you know what happened to the sputnik?
No. What happened?
It broke down. It's batteries went phut after three days. It became space junk.
Dad, that was eons ago. This is now. The Russian vaccine may be a big success.
Well, it already has been in the most important way for Putin – he got a big one up on Trumpie.
• Businessman Barry Colman is the former publisher of the National Business Review.
