How can you report your manager's lazy behaviour without jeopardising your own job? Photo / 123rf
Q: My manager (who is in charge of a team of six) doesn’t work. Of the three days she’s supposed to be in the office, she has an excuse to “be remote” at least two or three of those days. But when she’s remote, she’s not online working. She only makes an appearance in the office two to five days a month!
The days she does come in, she’s late or leaves early, or both. Her excuses include “tired kids, gonna let them sleep” and “traffic, commute too long today”. There have been myriad medical ailments, family issues, and days where she’s falling on ice, getting hit by a car. I have been keeping track for two years and have 22 pages of excuses (in 10-point font).
She does this all while flying under the radar of the higher-ups and shows up when they are around. The rest of the team carries the workload. I tried having a conversation with HR, and they were not helpful. She needs to get fired! How can I report this behaviour without jeopardising my own job? - Anonymous
A: I wonder how much this has to do with Covid. Which is to say: I wonder how much Covid-era work policies have so accustomed your manager to remote work that she can’t seem to get back into the swing of things.
This is the case for a lot of people. Not that it is an excuse, but it might help explain why she’s not coming into the office with any regularity.
(If I were to create a list of reasons I could wield to avoid the office, medical issues and traffic would definitely be included.)
But there are other possibilities, and a few things I’m confused about.
1. The higher-ups. You say that your manager’s absences are not apparent to her superiors because she’s usually visible (meaning: in the office) when they’re around. Are the higher-ups also not in the office very often? Could it be that she’s taking a page from their example? And why are you so sure that they’re unaware of her absenteeism?
2. “They were not helpful,” doesn’t tell me what, exactly, you said to the human resources department, and what evidence – if any – you wielded to buttress your argument. Did you provide examples of the extra work that you and your colleagues have had to engage in? The most compelling argument you can make is to explain – and, if possible, show – the ways in which you and your colleagues are taking on additional duties. (Don’t show HR the list you made of your manager’s excuses. It comes across as obsessive.)
As for the other possibilities: it’s quite likely that it’s you who doesn’t know the whole story. Maybe there are no performance issues. Maybe her children need a lot of care. (Kids do have a lot of appointments and medical emergencies.)
Or maybe your manager is going through a tough time, and her frequent absences aren’t indicative of laziness or inertia but inability and incapacity. Do you have any sense that she’s been struggling? People with mental health challenges like depression and anxiety can find “regular” life overwhelming, even paralysing, and your manager may be battling a situation you’re not aware of.
This may also be why the HR department is not, as you say, being “helpful”. Human resources administrators often possess information that others do not, and in this case, they may not only know the reasons for your manager’s frequent absences, but feel willing or compelled to accommodate them.
This may not be fair to you or your co-workers in terms of workload – and two years of this seems like a long time, I admit. So this is what I suggest you do: Go back to HR with your concerns and try to get some sense as to why the department isn’t able, or willing, to take action. (Don’t be surprised if you get little or no answer in return.) That’s about all you can do. In the end, you may just have to grimace and bear it. Or find another job.
Q: I started my job in late 2024 as an assistant, primarily to support with scheduling, meeting notes and administrative tasks. My boss saw potential in me and began assigning higher-level projects. This is work I enjoy and want more of, but it’s come without adjustments to my original workload.
We’re a three-person team, and since I joined, my boss has taken on major new initiatives and delegated most of the execution to me. Now I’m managing complex projects and handling every calendar request, expense, shared inboxes and off-site event (we sometimes have multiple per week).
I’ve raised concerns about bandwidth, and while my boss expresses empathy, she immediately follows up with more tasks.
Speaking of meetings, usually two full days a week are consumed by them.
Any advice about a boss whose solution to bandwidth problems is calling more unproductive meetings? - Anonymous
A: There are at least two things going on here.
1. You’re being asked to do too much work.
2. Your workplace has a toxic meeting culture.
My advice: Have a conversation (yes, another) with your boss about your bandwidth issues. Is there someone else that some of your tasks can be delegated to? I suggest you first put it in writing, outlining your concerns about the specific tasks that you’re expected to take on that make it harder for you to do the more challenging (and rewarding) parts of your work. Then ask if you can have an in-person conversation about it.
You might want to approach the situation by reiterating your interest in and excitement for your job, and the additional opportunities you’ve been given. Then you can express your concern that continuing to handle “older” tasks is getting in the way of you moving forward in your career with the company. Communicate that you want to grow professionally and to move past the sort of work that you initially started out doing. Then suggest some ways the two of you can work together to make that happen.
As for the unproductive meetings, unfortunately, this is not really an issue you can bring up with your boss, at least not easily, and probably not without making her defensive.
My advice is to ask her if you might occasionally skip a meeting because of tasks that need tending before the end of the workday. This may subtly communicate that not all meetings are created equal – meaning that you’d appreciate the opportunity to miss a few in order to make sure the work you’re doing is done well – and that you have boundaries for when your workday needs to end.
Good luck!
This article originally appeared in The New York Times.
Written by: Anna Holmes
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