WHEN TROUBLE CALLS

OUR CHILDREN ARE GETTING THEIR HANDS ON CELLPHONES YOUNGER ... AND THE DANGER LURKING AT THE OTHER END OF THE LINE CAN BE TERRIFYING. ANDREA JUTSON REPORTS
The day Diane's daughter was given a cellphone was the day three years of hell began. First, it was suggestive messages; the ones inviting her to meet boys and strangers after dark in a park near her Glenfield home. Repeated. Repeated again, and again. She went to meet them 'to be 'cool'. She was pressured into sex at 15. She started sneaking out so often that Diane put locks on the doors and windows. It didn't work. Her daughter began stealing to get credit so she could log onto pornographic websites. When Diane tried to check the phone, her daughter changed the name of her boyfriend to a girl's name in the menu, so it looked harmless. She deleted all her messages after reading them, so her mother couldn't find out. 'Mobiles make them easy targets,' says Diane of youngsters. As children's cellphone use increases dramatically - it's doubled in the past two years - major telecommunications companies admit it's open slather. There are no rules for selling phones to youngsters. Telecom and Vodafone simply advise stores to exercise 'discretion'. In most cases, however, it is parents who provide their children with phones. Ironically, it's usually for safety reasons. Now 19, Diane's daughter realises her mistakes. She has told her mother she was too young to own a cellphone and urges Mum to take the phone off her 16-year-old sister. Just two weeks ago, the 16-year-old arranged to wag school, using a phone an aunt had given her against Diane's wishes. 'It's scary to think what could have happened,' Diane says. 'It's too easy for them to get into trouble.' Her 11-year-old daughter is also being pressured to get a phone by her friends. THERE ARE many different ideas on when to give a child a mobile phone. It's common for nine-year-olds to have their own phones. According to this year's Census at School, run by the University of Auckland's statistics department, 69 per cent of the 25,000 children surveyed had mobile phones. At age nine, the rate of ownership was 26 per cent, rising to 88 per cent by age 14. The number of 10-year-olds with cellphones had risen by more than a quarter in just two years. In Avondale, Adrienne Ackerman's five children were about nine when they got their phones. Sharday was changing schools, and Adrienne wanted to stay in touch. Sharday, 14, Tayla and Brosnan, both 12, admit they go through more than 2000 text messages each month, funded with their pocket money. They say they haven't received any disturbing messages, although some of their friends have, and won't stay up past midnight. 'Some of my friends text me to come to parties late at night, but I don't go,' Sharday says. She hates the idea of her friends giving out her number to strangers. Her eight-year-old sister, Jenna, admits she's too young to have her phone, saying 11 or 12 is the right age. Surprisingly, her sisters agree, horrified that they know four-year-olds with their own phones. They also admit that the phones are probably too addictive. 'When they had those free text weekends, I was up from early in the morning til late at night, texting,' says Sharday. Since she ran out of credit, she hasn't been able to text, and admits the uninterrupted peace is quite pleasant. Adrienne makes them put their phones away whenever they go visiting. 'They're not socialising like they used to,' she says. 'They know, and they get the eye if the phone comes out.' She also checks the children's messages from time to time, but doesn't ask them first. 'Otherwise what's the point? They'd just delete them.' Husband Bevan says they trust the children, and wouldn't have given them the phones if they didn't. 'We trust what's going out - it's just what's coming in,' he says. Brosnan sums up: 'It all depends on what type of kid you are.' There are many advantages to having cellphones. Adrienne and Bevan, with their large blended family, can stay in touch with all their children at their many schools, dance practices, malls and two different homes. Diane says the prime reason for buying her daughter a mobile phone was to allow her a bit of independence while shopping or at the zoo, where the two could go their separate ways but stay in touch. Sharday says when she was feeling too sick to get out of bed, being able to text message her relatives helped. GILL WILLIAMS texts her children at lunchtimes. With today's busy lifestyles, getting time to talk to your children one-on-one can be tough, but this lets them know she's thinking of them and allows her to catch up with gossip, says the Parents Inc worker. To increase quality time, she bans phones from the dinner table, and makes her 16- to 21- year-old children put their phones in a basket in the kitchen at night. In emergencies, of course, mobiles come into their own. There are safety precautions people can take, with some limitations. Vodafone offers Contentguard, which blocks inappropriate adult content on its Vodafone Live sites, but not on the internet in general. Spokesman Paul Brislen says the company actively avoids marketing to children under the age of 16, but store managers use their own discretion when selling phones to unaccompanied children. Telecom' s Rebecca Earl says Telecom cannot discriminate against children wanting to buy phones, but again advises discretion. People signing up to a plan must be over 18. Consumers' Institute head Sue Chetwin says the companies are right not to discriminate. She says children having mobile phones is normal in this day and age, and the institute's website carries information for subscribers on how to use them safely, particularly when dealing with text bullying. 'We think mobiles are a convenient way to stay in touch with family and friends, but parents should set ground rules,' she says. Rachel Harrison, a spokesperson for Netsafe, knows of a few cases in which children have racked up huge charges on mobile phones. She recommends going with 'prepay' accounts. She says the key to safety is telling children upfront you will be checking their phones, and encouraging them to tell you if they get any message that worries them. While there is no recommended age for giving a child a mobile phone, she says children should not be alone on the internet before the age of eight, and that could also apply to cellphones. Bruce Pilbrow, chief executive of Parents Inc, gave his son a phone at 13. He checks it from time to time, with his son's knowledge. 'A 13-year-old is still a child,' he says, 'so why should you stop parenting, just because your child's got a mobile phone?'