To act or not to act like an Aucklander? That is the question. And that's what Joanna Davies asked tutor of acting John Goudge.
John Goudge is briefly stumped when we meet at his Waiatarua drama studio and I ask if he could teach me to portray a typical Aucklander.
"The difficulty is that there isn't really such a thing as a typical Aucklander anymore," says Mr Goudge. "You really have to be directed by a script and evidence about the character's background."
But there are still options.
"One of the things would be to see how other parts of the country perceive us as Aucklanders or Jafas - the idea that we drink lattes in Ponsonby; that we're more apathetic following our sports teams; and that the traffic is really bad," he says.
"I think we'd have a look at the script and then go to Ponsonby and people-watch."
Mr Goudge believes people from other parts of the country consider Aucklanders fast-moving.
"The stereotypical idea of an Aucklander is that we're always rushing around doing stuff. For a woman, to exaggerate this idea, we'd make you wear heels and set you off."
I'm already wearing mine, I note. "Then we'd ask the question of whether or not you're actually comfortable, because a lot of Auckland women don't look comfortable when they wear them," he says.
The next thing to do is to correct my accent, which is a jumbled combination of Kiwi and Welsh - would that be Kelsh?
"People take varying lengths of time to learn accents. Some people are really gifted at learning them."
Not being one of those fast learners, I could safely say that acquiring my Auckland accent would take several weeks.
"You can get a Kiwi accent if you practise talking without moving your lips and instead of bringing your voice into the chest, you hold it more in the middle of the face," he says.
But, of course, across Auckland itself there are different accents. "In Remuera, the accent might be slightly more English. Then you've got the whole Westie version, where Polynesian and Maori pronunciation comes into it a lot more."
Next come the habits of Aucklanders, and I'm pretty good at some of these.
"Looking at your watch or your phone all the time, texting while talking to other people, are things that Aucklanders do a lot," says Mr Goudge.
Although I'm not wearing a watch, I am very distracted by my phone when it rings - prompting me to cross the room to find it.
For men, Mr Goudge says a typical Auckland character would be a property developer who likes footy and holds lunchtime meetings in the pub.
"But it's dangerous to stereotype without a script, because a script has the bits of evidence about what the writer is trying to tell us about this person. "You could certainly teach someone how to act like an Aucklander, you just have to know what kind of Aucklander they have to act like - someone from the inner-city could act very different to someone out south."
Act now
John Goudge is holding acting classes called What's My Scene? at his studio in
Waiatarua. The course runs for eight weeks from September 20. Call John on 814 9744 for more information.
To be or not to be a Jafa
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