Opinion: On the way to the forum

Having nothing better to do on a Thursday night, The Whimsy Editor sits in on another meeting of his local board. Tonight, it's the board's first public forum.

Matiu Local Board

Minutes of the ordinary meeting held Thursday, 17 March, 2011
Venue Service Centre, Matiu
Board Members
Chair M. Steele-Martin QSM
Deputy Chair S. Wong
Members M. Fortescue, A. Patel, F. Sefuiva
In attendance Ania Greene-Dreeme, Relationship Manager
Chair: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I see we have a full house, and I would like to thank each and every one of you for giving up your personal commitments to the many and various St Patrick's Day celebrations around the community in order to fulfil your civic duties.
Members Wong, Patel, Sefuiva: No problem, Mr Chairman ... Don't mention it, Mr Chairman ... I've got a hipflask - the boys can have a snort after the meeting, Monty.
Member Fortescue: Kind of you to mention it, but I went to 9 o'clock mass at St Jude's this morning.
Chair: Before we start the meeting I believe it would be appropriate that we have a minute's silence in remembrance of the tragedy in Christchurch.
Relationship Manager: Excuse me, Mr Chairman, but the Local Boards: Code of Conduct is quite specific about these situations, and I'm not altogether sure that the Chair has the power to unilaterally declare a religious observation. It might cause offence to some sections of the ratepaying public. And then we'd be up before the Human Rights Commission. Well, he certainly can't do it without a consultation process with the stakeholders, anyway.
Member Patel: The Chair never said a word about a "religious observation". I don't see how a minute's silence can be culturally insensitive.
Relationship Manager: Exactly. Elected representatives are all too often in the position of thinking they can make decisions on behalf of the public without having access to all the relevant information. That's why the council has appointed officials like me to guide you through the potentially treacherous pathways of local government.
Member Fortescue: Oh, are we on to the footpaths already? Mr Baldwin two doors down from me has lost his footing twice in the last month and we need to do something about the pavement in our street.
Member Sefuiva: Perhaps we should put it to the vote. The minute's silence, I mean.
Chair: We can't put it to the vote. I haven't declared the meeting open yet.
Member Wong: Good. Then let's just do it, and Ms Greene-Dreeme won't have to put a word of this discussion in the minutes, and we can get on with the meeting.
One minute later
Chair: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I now declare the monthly meeting of the Matiu Local Board, in the Service Centre, Matiu, open.
Member Fortescue: Point of order, Mr Chairman.
Chair: I think we actually have to discuss something, or move a motion, before you can raise a point of order, Mrs Fortescue.
Member Fortescue: With all due respect, Mr Chairman, my point of order arises from what you just said. I don't understand why we have to say this meeting is happening in the "Service Centre, Matiu".
Relationship Manager: May I, Mr Chairman? Because that is where it is happening, Mrs ... I mean, Member Fortescue. The council has designated this room as the Service Centre for the council within the boundaries of the Matiu Local Board.
Member Patel: I think Mabel has a point. When all's said and done, it's not a service centre. It's the staff tearoom at the War Memorial Library.
Relationship Manager: That was before the Local Government Minister passed an Order-in-Council, signed by the Governor-General, pursuant to several Acts of Parliament, which the Minister himself signed and counter-signed, to declare these premises to be a Service Centre for the Local Board within the meaning of the Act. Or Acts.
Member Fortescue: Well, you'd think they'd at least rinse their cups and saucers before our meeting. They know it's on every fourth Thursday.
Member Patel: The more I listen to Mabel, the more sense she makes. I was looking at the council website the other day, and this is not only the service centre, it's the Electoral Office, the Census Office, the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages, and unless I'm very much mistaken, the Civil Defence headquarters if or when a tsunami strikes Matiu. Or anywhere between Te Arai Point and Whiritoa. Just as well we're at sea level. We'll see it coming.
Member Sefuiva: Unless the library staff are on a tea break, of course. Then they'll see it coming first. I wonder if the council is indemnified for that? Workplace accident, I suppose. ACC. If it's still going then.
Relationship Manager: As I explained, the Minister has seen fit to designate this building ...
Member Fortescue: Tearoom, Annie ...
Relationship Manager: ... as a vital component of the regional infrastructure. The council has budgeted several thousand dollars for refurbishment and information technological services in order for it to meet ISO standards.
Member Fortescue: Is that why Plunket had to move out and find new premises, dear? Your mother mentioned that to me after church today. She's not very impressed.
Member Wong: My mates at the indoor bowling club were told it was because of the after-hours insurance.
Member Sefuiva: My auntie is still looking for somewhere for the Matiu Weavers Circle ladies. Could you have a word with the Father at St Jude's, Mabel?
Chair: Well, now you come to mention it, my mate Earl is chairman of the Devonport-Takapuna board, and he tells me that they meet in the old North Shore City Council chambers. They've got nothing else to do with it, now they're not a city anymore. Apparently, when you want to speak, you press this button on your desk, and a light flashes up on a board. It's like a reality television show.
Member Patel: Takapuna and Devonport as one board? That's not a reality show. That's the most unreal show anyone could imagine.
Relationship Manager (hurriedly): If it please Mr Chairman, perhaps we could move on to the agenda as circulated?
Chair: Righto. First item of business is the public forum. We haven't had one of these before, but the Mayor is very committed to them. What's the form, Ms Greene-Dreeme?
Relationship Manager: It's quite simple. Anyone from the community can ask, by letter or email, to make a statement to the Local Board about matters of concern to them or their stakeholders.
Member Wong: And what are "stakeholders", Ania?
Relationship Manager: Anyone who thinks they're affected by anything, Member Wong.
Member Sefuiva: Or disaffected, more likely.
Relationship Manager: The first person who would like to make a submission to the Local Board is Mrs Parkinson.
Chair: Good evening, Mrs Parkinson.
Member Fortescue: Hello, Betty. How are the bunions?
Mrs Parkinson: Hello Monty, it's been too long. Fine, thank you for asking, Mabel. I'd like to talk about the birds.
Chair: And what would you like to tell us about the birds, Betty?
Mrs Parkinson: I'd just like to say that I was walking along the new boardwalk that the nice councillor had put up just before he stood down. You know, the one they say is going to get the safe seat in Parliament?
Members Fortescue, Wong, Sefuiva, Patel: We know.
Mrs Parkinson: Well, I know it cost an awful lot of money, but the view is so much nicer in front of all our houses. I was walking along the new walkway - it's a path, really, but the big bronze plaques say it's a walkway - just this morning, and I counted all the different birds that have come into the area since it was put up. There were godwits, herons, stilts, seagulls, tui, kingfishers. I even saw a fish jumping.
Member Sefuiva: I'm hugely impressed.
Chair: With the increase in wildlife since the walkway was built?
Member Sefuiva: No, with the fact that one resident around here can recognise so many different kinds of birds. Well done, Mrs Parkinson. Was that a seagull or a mollymawk?
Mrs Parkinson: I'm not sure, Mike. I kept all those nice charts that came with the Daily Eyestrain last week but I didn't take them with me for reference. It's very hard to do that when you have to walk with a frame.
Chair: Was there anything else you wanted to say, before we thank you for your submission, Betty?
Mrs Parkinson: I'd like to say that when I see all those birds come into our bay it lifts my spirits. I don't mind paying all those rates to the Auckland Regional Council when they do something like that.
Relationship Manager: Excuse me, Mrs Parkinson, but we don't have the Regional Council anymore.
Mrs Parkinson: Alright, the Auckland Regional Authority. These people change their names all the time but I don't know why we have a vote - it's the same ones who get elected every time. And the rates always go up. It wasn't like this when Robbie was in charge. Or Tom Pearce.
Member Fortescue: It's his daughter these days.
Chair: I don't think we need to bring personalities into the discussion. Thank you, Mrs Parkinson. Who's next?
Relationship Manager: Mr Barnstable has asked to make a statement about trees.
Mr Barnstable: Good evening all. What I'd like to know is, when can I cut down a tree?
Chair: The short answer is, you can't. Perhaps you could explain the problem?
Mr Barnstable: My neighbour's got a bloody great tree. It cuts out all the light from our kitchen. And our bathroom. It's no bloody fun shaving when you can't see, let me tell you. Not only that, it's killed all my grass. And my lettuces and tomatoes did nothing this year. It sucks up all the nutrition from the soil. With the price of veggies nowadays you have to grow your own. Especially since I was made redundant last year.
Member Wong: Good points, Mr Barnstable. I'd like to ask one or two questions.
Relationship Manager: You can't.
Member Wong: What do you mean, I can't? I just want to know ...
Relationship Manager: It's in the rules. The public forum is a time for the public to make statements without interruption or challenge from the board.
Member Patel: But that's not a forum, is it? When I went to Grammar, and learned Latin, we were told that the Forum was a place for citizens to put their points of view, and for them to be debated.
Relationship Manager: We're not in Rome now, Member Patel. A forum means what the council wants it to mean. And the council wants it to mean a place where people can say whatever they like without elected members asking them ... er, questions.
Chair: Perhaps I can help Member Wong. What was it you wanted to ask Mr Barnstable, Charlie?
Member Wong: I was wondering whether it was a native tree, or an ancient tree, or a tree of some significance to the neighbourhood.
Chair: Mr Barnstable, the board would appreciate hearing the characteristics of this tree. You might consider expanding your submission to inform us whether it is a native tree, or an ancient tree, or of some significance to the neighbourhood.
Mr Barnstable: I'm not a bloody horticulturalist. It's 15m high, drops leaves everywhere, cuts out the light and kills my grass. Isn't that good enough for you?
Chair: I'm not sure that you're allowed to ask the board questions. But I have to advise you to tread carefully. The council takes a dim view of people chopping down trees without the proper permits. And they cost quite a bit. You'll probably have to come down to the service centre in business hours and discuss it with a suitably qualified officer. What would we have if people could just cut down bush and clear-fell whole acres of the city, leaving bare clay, without giving any thought to the environment?
Member Sefuiva: Newmarket Park?
Relationship Manager (hurriedly): I think that's the end of the public forum, Mr Chairman. Perhaps we could move on to general business.
- Ewan McDonald is The Whimsy Editor of The Aucklander