High price to die

Maria Tarapipipi and George Masters sit holding a picture of their son Wiremu.

Three weeks ago the 21-year-old father of one was brutally beaten. A short time later he took his own life.

"It's not right to be burying your kid," says Maria.

"It was a shock. It's sort of still not registered. There are a lot of things we will cherish about him. He was well liked. He had a lot of friends."

"And he was a great dad," says George.

Maria and George aren't together anymore but are united in their grief and in the humiliating situation they found themselves in when their son died.

Maria is a beneficiary with three other children. She is staying with friends in Mangere while she waits for a Housing New Zealand home. George works for Smith Underground Services and is staying with a friend nearby.

Following Wiremu's death, Maria and George wanted their son at home.

"But to have him released from the morgue we were told we had to pay $800. We don't have that kind of money."

George was loaned the money by his employer but the couple still faced a $3600 fee to bury their son at Mangere Lawn Cemetery, closest to where they are living.

The privately owned cemetery said payment in full was required 24 hours before the plot could be dug.

"His older sister told us when they would drive past he'd always say he wanted to be buried there," says Maria. "I just didn't imagine it would be so soon."

Wiremu wasn't buried for seven days.

"It's longer than you're supposed to wait. But they wanted their money before they would touch him."

A family friend, Elaine Ngamu, advised Maria she could apply for a funeral grant from Work and Income New Zealand (WINZ).

"I didn't know that was an option," Maria says.

She was awarded the maximum amount of $1959.42 and an advance of $1400 on her benefit. The total cost of the funeral came to $6935.

Elaine says she has helped families in the past who are struggling to pay for funerals, through her role at Patua te Ngangara. It's a service provided by the Ministry of Health to assist families dealing with methamphetamine-related problems.

"I come across this issue all the time," explains Elaine. "Here we're talking about a family that live day to day. The family have no car. We wanted to help and wanted the mother to be able to grieve. When we got there, the mother and father were just pacing the driveway.

"There was no food. The Salvation Army and the Auckland City Mission came to the party. Other people say 'take him back to his marae', but they've never been. This family are urban Maori."

BAD DEBTS

Graeme Cummins, general manager of the Mangere Cemetery Trust Board, says the requirement to pay the full amount for a burial site, before it will be dug, stems from promised payments never being made.

"It's purely come about because of the crippling bad debt from people not paying for plots. It seems once the tears dry up, so does the money," Mr Cummins says.

"What we charge is for a service that has to be covered. When people talk about how dear it is, it's not like we pull a figure out of the air. You've got to look at the cost of the service. How do I pay the wages of seven staff? Pay for a $100,000 excavator, pay to maintain the grounds? It's a service to be maintained in perpetuity."

Mr Cummins says the family approached the cemetery but didn't confirm they wanted to bury their son straight away.

"They had no phone for us to contact them and it's not up to us to chase them up. There was also the option of a cremation which is a lot cheaper."

George says for personal reasons cremation was not an option for his son.

Jo Joyce was the funeral director who assisted the family.

"It's a difficult situation. We know people can't afford to live, let alone die," she says. "But we'll never turn anyone away."

She says her business is left with a bill. "They still owe us $2000. The money that came to us from WINZ went to pay for the burial."

She said she had told the family of other options.

"I did suggest they go to Manukau Memorial Gardens where they could do their own funeral."

She said the funeral director doesn't hold the body and the $800 was not to pay the morgue, as the family believed. "But in some cases we do ask for some money up-front."

Eion McKinnon, president of the Association of Funeral Directors of New Zealand, says there can be arrangements made over payment and it is at the discretion of the funeral director. He recognises there is a definite need in many Auckland communities for families who cannot immediately afford the services.

He says some funeral directors have started running credit checks on families before agreeing to assist them.

"I do respect there are people in this country that can't afford to pay and a death is the pits of life for them," says Mr McKinnon. "We want to help but if we're not paid we won't be around next time to help.

"I think funeral directors provide a very charitable service. It wouldn't be prudent to take on a death if I knew I wasn't going to be paid. I've had a situation where I still haven't been paid."

Many of the cemeteries around Auckland are overseen by Auckland Council. Council also requires payment to be made in full the day before the burial. However, if the funeral is being managed by a funeral director, the funeral director may cover the cost with council and invoice the family at a later date.

Auckland Council does offer a pre-need scheme at Manukau Memorial Gardens in which people purchase a plot in advance and pay for it in instalments over 12 months (interest free). There are pre-purchase options also available at its other sites.

Maria says the financial strain has been a huge additional stress on top of their grief.

"We're keeping it together. But I just hope other families don't have to go through what we've been through."

BURIAL COSTS AUCKLAND

Franklin (council) $1790; Waikaraka, Hillsborough, Otahuhu (council) $2685; Mangere (private) $3600; Howick (council) $3840; Manukau Memorial Gardens (council) $2685; North Shore, northern (single berm) $5480, central (single berm) $3290; Waiheke (council) $1380.

AROUND THE COUNTRY

Wellington $2600 (approx). Payments are ideally made up-front but are flexible and usually via funeral director. Masterton $1032 (plus $861). Burial payments required by the 20th of the month.

Wanganui (local resident) $677.

Napier (local resident) $1751. Council invoices the funeral director within a week of interment.

Palmerston North (double berm) $1554.

Costs are for an adult burial.

HELPING HAND

Low-income earners can get assistance with funeral costs.

Each year benefits, including funeral grants, are adjusted to keep pace with changes to the consumer price index and reflect living costs.

The maximum funeral grant increased to $1959.42 on April 1.

In the previous year the maximum was $1925.34.

Over the last three years the number of funeral grants issued by WINZ, and the total amount paid, has remained steady.

March 2010 5562 grants, average $1681.

March 2011 5412 grants, average $1718.

March 2012 5473 grants, average $1797.

If a person is killed at work, ACC provides up to $5541 to cover the cost of a funeral. This increases by up to $10,000 if a person is murdered.

GO PRE-PAY

Although it's a tough subject to have to think about, many people are pre-paying for their funerals.

There are many providers but most pre-pay schemes work in one of two ways: payments each month for the duration of the policy, which is rather like a life insurance policy; or paid up within a short time of starting the policy (usually about two years) by lump sum amounts. See www.fdanz.org.nz/pre-paid-funerals.aspx

The Citizens Advice Bureau has information on how to save on funeral costs.

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