Melissa and Fran Firman have three children aged 11, 13 and 14. But their car is overflowing and they recently moved to a bigger house because there are also four foster children in their care.
Melissa, an early childcare teacher, says she became interested in fostering after seeing a friend get involved. "And my mum was a foster child. After I left home she fostered teenagers."
The two toddlers had lived briefly with extended family but it didn't work out and now Melissa says they're waiting for adoptive parents to come along, or for another family member to offer to take them.
"Going from one family to another is quite disruptive so we'd rather keep them with us until a stable home is found."
Fran is a contractor for IBM and Melissa is now a stay-at-home mum, which she says allows the family to foster toddlers and be involved in school trips and camps. They've been carers for only a year but say they "absolutely" see fostering as part of their lives from now on.
To accommodate their large brood they recently bought a five-bedroom house surrounded by a couple of acres of bush - plenty of room for seven children to spread out. "The only thing is, we need a bus," says Fran. "Everyone goes in the car, except for me and one of our kids goes on the motorbike."
He says becoming foster parents has been challenging for their children but they're incredibly proud of the way the new siblings are welcomed. "There's a bit of whingeing from the oldest, who wants his own space, but then our daughter is right in there helping. They all get in and get involved."
"We're just one big family," adds Melissa, "that's what it feels like."
Fran feels fostering is easier for those who already have their own children. "That way you're used to dealing with the 3am 'I've had a bad dream' stuff. And if your own kids are around, they are able to show the rules through their actions.
"All children come with their own problems, even our own, but you work with them to understand that; you give them boundaries."
Fran and Melissa trained with Lifewise and say if they have a problem, Lifewise is there to help. Melissa says knowing family and friends will support you as foster parents is important. In terms of financial support, each child receives a weekly board payment to cover school uniforms and fees, food and transport.
"But if you want to take everyone to Rainbows End that's out of your pocket or, in our case, fish and chips on the beach for birthdays," says Fran.
He warns that stressful situations can arise. "Before you consider fostering, make sure your own family life is in a good place because it is going to be disruptive so you don't want to have hidden issues."
Both say it's all worth it to see the children thrive. "If you can put your hand up and say, 'I'll help', it gives you joy as a family because you see the changes in the child over the time you have them," says Melissa. "It has opened my eyes up to who is out there and who needs love and help and care."
She says when permanent homes are found for the children it will be very emotional for the whole family. "It's going to be really hard to say goodbye because they have bonded with our family, but it would be nice to see them go to a permanent home where they'll be happy."
GETTING THE RIGHT FIT
Tiaria Fletcher manages Lifewise's foster care contract with Child Youth and Family and oversees the staff who work with the carers. Part of her job is to ensure children get the best possible carer for their situation. "Where does the child fit? Some need one-on-one attention, others need to be the youngest."
She says once a child is referred from Child Youth and Family, Lifewise needs to find them a home for anywhere from a couple of days to more than a year. The caregivers on Lifewise's books are diverse. "We've got families who are younger, with their own kids, right up to carers in their 60s. There are single parents and one couple who can't have children of their own so they are fostering."
The need for carers is constant. "We have to turn down about 25 per cent of placements because we don't have enough carers."
For those considering the role, Mrs Fletcher says emotional resilience is important. "You have no idea what this child is like; they may be very traumatised or could have some very challenging behavioural issues. A lot of them will be doing things that were okay at 2 but are not okay at 5. Foster parents need to be able to love and nurture these children and they have to be able to give them up as well, and that's never easy."
She says it is rewarding to see a child come in frail and traumatised and often show big improvements within a week. As well as littlies needing care; carers for teenagers are in short supply, particularly carers for teenage girls.
"We're also lacking couples. Our kids need males. Most of them have had poor male role models."
She says carers may have to get used to having extra eyes on them, such as Child Youth and Family, counsel for the child, psychologists, Plunket.
"That's where we come in to ensure there's a care plan and we can advocate for the families and talk on their behalf. The important thing is that the caregivers can get on with looking after the children."
Tiaria says although Child Youth and Family pays an allowance to carers, people are not going to make money out of the situation. "Carers do this with very little. There's no financial incentive."
Lifewise provides a two-day training course and carers are encouraged to keep their training up-to-date with regular courses.
DIFFERENT KINDS OF CARE
Child Youth and Family's Auckland regional operations manager, Sharon Thom, says the organisation is mandated to remove children from their family home when necessary, but works with families to try to avoid that or to place the child with extended family.
When that's not possible, children may need care for a short period while CYF works with the parents.
"There are other situations where it's much more serious and we need to take them into custody and look for longer-term options," she says.
In Auckland, CYF has 387 carers but also works with organisations such as Lifewise to find homes for children. Ms Thom says there is a range of options for people wanting to be carers. Some commit to be available in emergencies, with a bed available day or night.
"We also have people who are able to provide respite care, perhaps just a weekend or short period to give parents or foster carers a break."
Short-term or transitional carers provide a home, usually for between one and six months, while Child Youth and Family work with the family to find a long-term solution. "Then we have what we call Home for Life, which is people who are providing care and then choose to become permanent care givers. That involves dealing with the family court."
Ms Thom says in recent years the number of children needing foster care through CYF has dropped. "It's really about our collaboration with other agencies and having an emphasis on working with families to keep children at home."
Despite that, she says carers are still needed because although the numbers needing care have fallen, there have never been enough on the books. "There's a need for carers right across Auckland. We have children everywhere who need care."
She says it doesn't matter if you're single, a couple, work full or part-time, own your own home or rent. "The most important thing is the motivation to provide some care for a young person who needs time out of their family home and who needs to feel safe and secure. People who have had successful parenting experiences of their own are ideal but carers can come from all walks of life."
Child Youth and Family has dedicated caregiver social workers to support foster parents.