Wine: Rough cheapies outweigh smooth

Even if you drink only the occasional glass of wine with dinner, the acidity and tannins will play havoc with your enamel. However, in my job, where I'm tasting a couple of dozen wines a week (or up to a hundred wines a day if I'm judging), it's like I've declared all-out war on my poor, tortured teeth.

Every wine is swirled around every nook, cranny and cavity before being spat out, leaving behind a layer of flavour loaded with ambitious acid molecules just aching to attack. They've got periodontal membrane on the brain and no amount of Sensodyne can stop it.

But the pain is worth it every time I taste something sensational that I can recommend. However, you have to take the rough with the smooth and this week there were more tragic examples than triumphant ones.

As I stood in line at the supermarket, I watched almost every second person pop a bottle of Whale Point, Obikwa or Two Oceans wine into their trolley. These South African brands have been around for years and are regularly discounted to way below the $10 mark. Yet I've avoided them for no other reason than that they make me uncomfortable, a bit like the sort of scratchy discomfort you get when you pull on a really tight sock after cutting your toenails too short. But perhaps I was being unfair, even snobby. But I had to know what the appeal was. Sacrificing my place in the queue, I zigzagged back to the wine aisle and bought three examples to take home.

What's the appeal?

Obikwa Pinot Gris 2010 $9.99 (SA)

Stars: 1.5/5

Sports a label stating that it comes in a "new, eco-friendly, lightweight bottle", which is true, because when I popped it on the kitchen scales it came in  100g lighter than the Whale Point. But that's about all it's got going for it. There's a faint frangipani aroma which is okay, and to drink there's some decent acidity. But the flavours were all over the place and flabby. Dull as dishwater and lacks length of flavour.

Two Oceans Chardonnay 2009, $10.99 (SA)

Stars: 2/5

Hails from the Stellenbosch region of South Africa's Western Cape. I tried really hard to look past the horribly old-fashioned label, because it's what's inside that counts.  For a second or two things looked encouraging. However, the aromas of tropical fruit, toast and hints of peach and pineapple dissolved into flavourless pap in seconds flat.

Whale Point Sauvignon Blanc 2010, $10.99 (SA)

Stars: 1/5

This has a "certified integrity  and sustainability" sticker on it from the South African Wine & Spirit Board - and that's about all it can boast. Initially there's a hint of lime on the nose but then it quickly becomes dull and vegetal. In the mouth there's a split second burst of fruitiness before the flavour falls away to nothing. Boring.