Maria Tutaia says taking a break from netball helped remind her what she loves about the game.
The star shooter returned to the Silver Ferns environment for this week's national trials in Auckland after taking time-out following New Zealand's heartbreaking loss to Australia in the World Cup final in Sydney earlier this year. The break saw Tutaia miss October's Constellation Cup series and a chance at redemption against the Diamonds.
But 102-test veteran insists she would have been doing the Ferns a disservice if she had have made herself available for the series when her mind was elsewhere.
"Mentally I was really spent after the World Champs in Sydney. I don't take anything for granted, but I didn't just want to put on the black dress for the sake of it, and no one should ever feel that way, and that's how I felt after worlds," said Tutaia.
The 28 year-old spent her break holidaying in France, where her brother plays rugby, Asia and the Pacific Islands. She said having a complete break from netball gave her space to reflect on what she still wants to achieve in the game.
"Now that I have had a really great break, it's just made me want to be back even more," she said.
"I feel really refreshed mentally ... physically I'm a bit rusty but I have a couple of months to catch up."
Tutaia returns to a very different Ferns environment from the one she left in August, with new coach Janine Southby, who officially took over the reins from Waimarama Taumaunu at the beginning of the month, inviting several new faces into trial for a place in the squad.
With veterans Joline Henry and Liana Leota retiring from international netball this year, and a couple of stalwarts of the wider squad such as midcourters Anna Thompson and Courtney Tairi missing from the list of invitees, the 2016 squad named tomorrow will have a fresh look to it.
Southby said she is looking for players that are well prepared physically and mentally and can keep rising when the pressure comes on.
"It's a big opportunity. The younger ones are putting their hand up, but they've really got to nail it and push the other ones out of their spot. We've got standards we have to maintain and we're still building towards those," said Southby.
"We need players that can compete physically and mentally on court against all the international teams we're playing next year and I think we've still got some work to do in that space particularly in the physical area."
The national selectors will name both the Silver Ferns squad and the national development squad tomorrow. The selectors can contract up to 18 players in the Ferns squad, but Southby said the selectors will likely opt to leave a couple of places free to allow them room to elevate players who make their mark in the ANZ Championship next year.
Southby's first international assignment with the Ferns now won't be until August next year after a tri-series in Fiji planned for January was canned due to problems securing a third opposition.