Sideswipe
A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: September 27: Right sausage, wrong name

Helen felt the name of this sausage flavour sounded a bit wrong when said out loud.
Helen felt the name of this sausage flavour sounded a bit wrong when said out loud.

Weird New Zealand teachers

1. In the early '70s, at our primary school in Kohimarama, we had a teacher who every week would pick a couple of her Standard 4 students and drive them to her house in Orakei to do her housework.

2. My wife used to carry notes between two teachers at her school who were having an affair. Late 1960s?

3. I had a high school teacher who lived across the road from the school. He would ride his bike to school, lock it up outside the staff room, then walk home to lock his helmet up in his house. After school, he did the reverse! He had a nervous breakdown and left teaching.

4. One of my teachers took delight showing pictures of hermaphrodites and gruesome health and safety films. A girl fainted and fell on me.

5. I had an intermediate teacher who played all of Iron Butterfly's In-a-Gadda-da-Vida album to us as we did interpretative drawings.

6. I had a teacher who would check our cuticles were pushed back on our nails before we left.

7. Two of our teachers turned Animal Farm into a musical, featuring the Beatles and a Russian work song. I was Muriel the goat.

8. Had a primary teacher who strapped us all every morning and locked herself in a cupboard. It took a whole term to convince the adults to believe us.

9. My brother's teacher once put the class in a horse float to take them on camp. That was pretty normal on the West Coast though!

10. Our high school head of languages used to take us to the docks in Dunedin to play chess with Russian sailors to improve our Russian.

Darkly funny colouring-in book based on the Addams Family TV series of the 1960s.
Darkly funny colouring-in book based on the Addams Family TV series of the 1960s.

Bug order bugs baker

Baker Stefan Fischer filed a lawsuit recently against Bakery of New York for wrongful firing. He said that when he told management of the bugs infecting its 1360kg flour silo, he was told to make "multi-grain" bread, which Fischer took to mean that fewer diners would complain if they heard "crunching" while eating multi-grain. (Via News of the Weird)

'Not my drinking car, officer'

Sharon K. Bidell, 55, of New York told police the car she was driving when she hit a parked car was "not my drinking car". Her blood-alcohol level was almost three times the legal limit. (Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath)

Special ways with tomato

70s dinner party creativity.
70s dinner party creativity.

Man biting woman?

Better work stories.
Better work stories.

Flying first class

Vlogger Casey Neistat said when Emirates Airlines upgraded this form first class from business class on a 14-hour flight from Dubai to New York. Neistat, that the resulting nine-minute video detailing his experience was not a commercial transaction. But for the $21,000 they lost on the seat, the airline got a video which has been viewed nearly 19 million times...







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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

- NZ Herald

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