Sideswipe: March 24: Expensive vegetables not okay

31 comments

A reader writes: "Who thinks it's reasonable to charge $8 for a cauliflower, which are in season? I can see why kids are getting two minute noodles or fast-food for dinner. Shameful on all levels. Hope the caulis rot on you and people refuse to buy them!"

Fireworks flurry

"So there it was, a cylindrical object lying neatly across the retaining wall at the top of the garden. It was not there on Monday. It was extremely wet from the recent rain and when I picked it up and removed the top packing, out fell six parachutes, with what appeared to be charges attached to them. This is when you back off, shut down the mower, and head indoors for a cup of coffee and a Google search. It had to be some form of marine distress flare ... Best contact was Maritime NZ, whose website suggested that these items needed to be disposed of correctly as they contained magnesium and phosphorous. They could not help me and suggested I call the police. Within 30 minutes our community police officer and I are staring intently at the pack of explosives sitting neatly on my grass. We both agree it is best not to touch these things and he takes a quick photo and dispatches it off to the Marine Police.

The Marine Police have been unable to identity the explosive objects and perhaps it is military and has fallen out of a plane. Really? I suppose. The RNZAF base is just under 1km away - perhaps it is possible. 'I have called the NZ Defence Force Bomb Squad duty officer,' says the community policeman, 'but it has gone directly to his voicemail and I have left a message.' Thank God we live in a terrorist-free country, I think. He leaves again, promising to come back when he has heard from the bomb squad. The neighbours must be wondering about the police, but when a van from the bomb squad heads up the drive ... Two immaculately presented Defence Force personnel jump out and proceed to examine the explosive objects carefully, taking photos from different angles. They then announce: No, not military, but a firework. An illegal one so large it should only be used by experts in an official display. It has not gone off fully and still has the charges attached.

At this point he picks all of them up, pops them into a metal box and disappears to write a report that has to be sent to Wellington."

Cellphone call

Lyall Dawson found a black jacket with a phone in the pocket at bus stop M5 (Victoria St East stop for Sandringham routes). "If you can tell me the company logo on the back and the brand of the phone, I will arrange to return it to you," he says. Email Sideswipe if it's yours.

Palmy knows how to get trolleyed

A reader on holiday in Palmerston North saw this: "They sure know how to get trolleyed down there!"

Dating humour.
Dating humour.

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

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