Comment: People often ask about the impact that going through cancer had on my relationships with people around me. As I would expect the many other people who have found themselves in the same position as myself and those around me did would agree, the experience is a profoundly uniting and bond-strengthening one.
So much so that often when meeting families who are rallying to support a loved one who is facing this disease, or any other, we organically note the precious times of genuine depth among the hardship and suffering, moments that presumably would have been missed otherwise. You wouldn't wish suffering on a loved one, but nor would you wish these special connections away, and stories of laughter and tighter-knit links than ever forged prior seem to be a common theme.
The cause of this is something I've had plenty of time to ponder, but it isn't something I had "solved" for myself until just last week, as I battled my way across the South Island in the Kathmandu Coast to Coast. Much like in multisport, what I lack in solid qualification I make up for in naïve determination, so bear with me while I share my theory: shared suffering creates vulnerability, vulnerability creates trust, trust creates real connection.
Let me explain. In October 2015, I underwent two major life changes. Yes, I was diagnosed with a highly aggressive cancer, but far more exciting than that, ten days prior I courted my first ever girlfriend.
You can picture my great disappointment as I found myself in the unenviable position of having to call my freshly minted girlfriend into my hospital room to, as I had deemed the most reasonable course of action, wish her the very best and excuse her from this terrible mess which she had not signed up for a week and a half prior. I did just that, and after explaining the predicament in which I had found myself, or I suppose, in retrospect,
"we" had found ourselves, told her that it was going to get very messy very fast and that she ought to run for the hills, for which I nor anybody else could blame her.